Every action has an opposable or equal reaction.

Silent Hill could be one of the freakiest movies I've ever seen in my life. And I've seen some really weird stuff. I'm not sure if you've seen said movie, but the siren... oh dear god, the siren. Taking a shower and having the light go out and then hearing that siren... Jesus Christ. Thank god I stopped it in time and it never happened. My poor brain wouldn't be able to cope with the terribleness of it all.

What really gets to me is the propaganda of the organisations all over the world. You've seen them. The ones with starving children that make us feel bad because we "don't give". They don't say it straight out of course, but they might aswell do. What happened to making an active choice? What happened to letting people choose for themselves? Maybe some people would be better off with a post-natal abortion.

This evening I'm going to have a dinner with wonderful people and there will be wonderful glorious food. Probably too much of it and it'll be thrown away. Do you know why? Because it'd never reach the starving children in time!

confirmation

Last year I wrote 202 entries. They weren't all great, but they are there none the less. This year, before this entry, I've written 192. It's hard to not try and stress it - "must beat last year". Yes, that's right, I am competitive, deal with it. Of course, I can't write ten entries in the few days left of this year and still maintain this awesome quality I have... (When do you not get "my entries, my rules"? This must be the fifth time by now!) It won't stop me from trying though. Must. Beat. Last. Year. MUST!

I am sane. Really. I am. It's all in comparison anyway. And like Bart Simpson likes to say "takes one to know one".

Black ice

There's a bruise at the top of my left thigh. One of those really dark brown ones. I have no idea how it got there. A part of me suspects that it got painted on, but it hurts if I press it so that sort of spoils that theory. Not even if I retrace my steps I remember it. Not that it's surprising though, but still...

Muddy waters!

There is no hot water in my apartment. And we're all thankful for that because the water damagewould be horrible if there was. BUT there is no hot water in the pipes either. All we get is icy cold water. And we don't just mean cold and it's "semi-warm". Oh no, it's so cold that if I took snow and let it melt in a bucket I think it'd be warmer. Seriously. At the moment my kettle and three pans are boiling water to pour in the green tub. I feel like I live in the 1800's. This better be the best damn bath I ever had in my life!

"I hope you choke on a biscotti!"

The Arctic North is cold. The darkness and winter creeps closer and closer until it hides beneath your very bones. There is no escape. There is no light. There is no heat in the Arctic Cold. Everything is covered in ice and snow. Everything glitters and glimmers. Everything is frozen in the Arctic North...

Rice cookies are a win. Chocolate is a win. You'd think that a combination of the two would create a super-win. That's not the case. It created the most super-lose I've ever tasted in my entire life - and I've had fois gràs (goose liver)! It came to the point where I kept eating them just to rid myself of their presence. Of course, I could just have thrown them away, but as Marge Simpsons says "it is a sin to waste food" and we did buy them...

Soft, soft, soft...

I am a little bit high. I've been a little bit high since Monday. That's almost a week. And it's all to this bloody game. Damn you computer game! Damn you for keeping me off the streets! Damn you for improving my language skills! Damn you for improving my mathematical skills! Damn you for making me even more interested in reading! Damn you to hell! I hate you so much! Damn you for bringing me fantastic friends! Damn you for taking away my anxiety! Damn you for making me feel better mentally! Damn you for making me more social! And damn you for bringing me the love of my life! If I could I would punch you in the face! Hard! With a bat! Because I can! HA!

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

You know celebrities? The kind of people who are famous for doing something that "normal" people don't do? Running a mile faster than the speed of light, yawn in a movie or set fire to a really old church because they wanted to "test how the bomb would work"? Okay good, we've established the base here. Well, the moviestars they make loads of money by appearing in movies and pretend they're someone else... Hrm, come to think of it, that's probably why I'm such a horrible actress - I can't pretend I'm someone else. Why should I want to? I'm bloody awesome! Anyway... the moviestars are surrounded with loads of people whereof several take care of their looks. (The moviestars' looks, not their own, although I'm sure they do that too.) How awesome wouldn't that be? Have a stab of people just following you around and making sure you look amazing all the time? Then again... No, you can't go to the toilet right now, we need to put on make-up first. Or Are you going out like that? What's wrong with this? Nothing... if you want to look like a... common! Hrm, yea, when I get rich this will definitely be on my list of investments. So I can shoot them behind the chemical shed!

"The higher a monkey climbs, the more you can see of its bottom."

Sometimes I really hate being Swedish. Or well, not really being Swedish, but the fact that I miss a lot of good tv-shows on account of being Swedish and not getting them to our networks. The show I'm talking about right now is QI or Quite Interesting. It's an absolutely fantastic show which starts many fascinating conversations (like the one about 911 and 112 that I had with my English manfriend) and what really sucks is that I know that my parents would love the show. Although I doubt that their knowledge of the English language is so up to date that they'd get the jokes without subtitles. Then again, they might surprise me. Parents tend to do that. When you're a kid you used to wonder if they could be any more embarassing and when you're a teenager you wonder if they can be any more annoying. Then you grow up and wonder if they could be any closer and any longer and all of a sudden you find yourself wondering how you could ever dislike them. It's a funny thing, growing up. A funny thing indeed...

Oh, snow!

Dance, motherfucker!

There really is nothing more Christmas-spirit-y than "knäck". You know, the crack I make in my kitchen every year on the 1st of December?

While typing this I'm expecting it to get intercepted by some small-town-hick who wants to be awesome and play with the big boys and catches this entry in his "WARNING!!!"-pile, wakes up his boss in the middle of the night to go "we caught one! The government actually found someone they were looking for!" (okay, so I might've borrowed that from the Simpsons). It, this entry that is, then gets sent to the FBI by the wonders of technology and riiiiiiiiiiiiiight about now they come storming in through my door and tell me to "lie the fuck down! LIE THE FUCK DOWN!!!" on my cold floor while they aim bazookas at me.

And considering nothing of this has happened yet I think I'm safe. Phew. Was a hard few minutes there. Thought I was gonna get caught up. Thought I was... Oh shit...

Busted!

In seven days I will once again disappear into the world of this horrible game that has kept me prisoner for little over four years. I don't even have the energy to feel sad about that anymore, I've had good runs and bad runs and fun and anger and I've met so many fantastic, wonderful, amazing people. Normally I don't like tribute things, but this one has to be done.

Bulle

Nazan

Sanderrahl

Stridr

Ifretti

I love you all. Thank you for highlighting my game and showing me that online gaming is more than just sitting by a computer.

You're all crazy!

- Which gummibear is the evil one?
- I think it's the yellow ones. They're less of them in the pack because the others keep ganging up on them.
- I think it's the red ones. They contain stuff from animals. That seems evil to me.

snowstorm

Never. Watch. A. Birth. With. Your. Boyfriend. He'll get more freaked out than you about it. I promise. If you happen to be a boyfriend... don't compare your girlfriend to a snake. If she's afraid it won't do much good. Oh, and don't consider putting your head up where the sun don't shine... Ever.

What's your angle?!

Snow! Lots and lots and lots of snow! White, fluffy and cold! SNOW! So yes... I like snow. You see, I grew up with the mentality that there "is no bad weather, there is only bad clothing". Yea... Swedish kindergardens are weird. They throw you outside with those words even in pouring rain and hail! Then again, I'm fairly sure that I at some point during a winter season ran out in my bathing suit together with a bunch of other kids. Bathing suits and wellington boots. Is there any need for me to mention that I was the instigator or is that obvious by now? Yes, that is one of my proudest moments. Since then it just went downhill...

- What happened to you? You used to be cool.
- No, I didn't!

I guess I can't answer that anymore, because here's the proof. I used to believe in something. I used to be able to motivate people. I used to be fun! And yes, a part of me is actually considering running around in an orange bikini and my pink wellington boots. Ah, good days...

Frost giants.

When I went to sleep last night I had this amazing idea about getting up at 6:30am and then catch the bus at 6:45am. Last night that made perfect sense. This morning it did not. You see, it takes me about 15 minutes to actually walk from my apartment to the bus stop. I've never run that fast to the bus in my life. And I've never thought please don't trip, please don't trip, please don't trip that much ever. And I've never had so much trouble breathing due to cold air before either. Or well, I probably have, I just can't remember it right now. There's snow here, you see. And frost. And ice. And delayed busses and trains and people. Luckily my brain's rather delayed all the time so I don't really notice it.

Oh, Steve mein kinderstrudel...

Sometimes I'm wondering what the hell I'm doing. Other times I just go along with my brain and pretend that it doesn't matter. Don't get me wrong, I still know where I'm going and such, I just don't really know what I'm actually doing. Maybe it's because I'm tired. I guess that would make sense. Then again, maybe my brain is trying to trick me and I'm not tired at all... I'm onto you!

Do you have any chocolate? I really feel like chocolate right about now. You do, don't you? And you want to keep it for yourself... Wow... and I thought we were friends. I really did. Such a terrible, terrible shame...

Brunch?

Have you ever partaken a two-hour-journey containing one bustrip and one trainride when feeling so sick you keep wondering when and over who you're going to throw up? I did that today and even though I had to go home from the accounting-lesson because I was wondering if I was going to throw up all over my incredibly pink books. (I didn't, but thanks for your concern.)
The worst part of it is that I brought it completely on myself. I do that sometimes. To know that I'm alive, you know. It's a test-thing. (No, of course it isn't, but it was my own fault for not eating properly yesterday. Shame on me.)

Idol is such a weird show. What ever happened to practising in your garage and hoping that a boss from a record company will walk past in search of a loo and a bone because his car broke down? (Dog and bone = phone - it's Cockney. Learn to deal with it.) People of today are lazy. Lazy, I say!

I'm right, you're wrong. Deal with it.

My dad's in the hospital. It's horrible to think about it, because I have no idea what is wrong and to put it frankly "I have my own business to attend to". Do you have any idea how horrible it is to know that you have to not think about it? You have to try and think about something else, so you don't fall into a pile and start crying. You have to focus on something else to keep the tiny black hole in your chest from growing. I'm terrified that there's something severely wrong with him. I'm terrified that my mom's gonna be left alone and that my dad won't be there when we celebrate Christmas or when I have kids or when my sister has kids... You get the point here, right? It's so horrible that I joke about it with my boyfriend. He thinks that it's some form of hyperthyroidism (giftstruma in Swedish) and if he's right I have to call him "Dr. Sir Jesus". If he's right, then I will. It's the small things that get you through the day. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, but not knowing is incredibly painful. Then again, if it's something incurable then ignorance will be bliss.

Ding dong, the witch is dead!

Joy to the world! The neighbour's gone! We barbecued... Uhm... Ignore that... But he is, in fact, gone. Hooray! Victory! When I'm less high from happiness I'll give you some better info about it, but right now I just can't think about anything else than how happy I am. Oh, well accept what is gonna happen to the dog. I actually had to call the police to find out what was wrong with it. There was no one in the apartment and the dog just kept on howling and barking. Poor dog.

Prais! Paris! Psarie!

You know, if someone had told me a few years ago that I'd be studying accounting on a university level I would probably have laughed at them. Sadly they would now be correct. How the HELL did this happen? I used to be fun. Oh wait... no, I didn't.

Do you know of a program where I can download a skill to draw right into my head? That'd be so damn practical. Then again, I guess it wouldn't be my style. Not that I actually have a style, but you get the point, right?

Ah... life is good. Or is it...?

cool cats

The Invasion is an interesting movie. I want to say that it has a happy ending, but somehow it's kinda hard to actually do that. It's one of those movies which makes you think after you turned it off. I like that. Even if it means that I say to everyone who won't listen what a complete load of tripe it was (like Watchmen - sheesh) - if it makes me think, it did do something properly.

Something else that's interesting is the eternal battle of the worlds that is currently taking place in my apartment. Between who? The Gummibears and the Galactic Empire. Yes, my boyfriend belongs to the "galactic empire" now. And the gummibears are taking over his laptop while playing the Imperial March. I don't really know when my life took a swing from being mundane to being completely insane, but I'm quite happy with the fact that it kept the "ane".

Ooo, liqorice...

What if?

Every now and then I go out into my kitchen, have a look around and pretend to be a master chef. For a few minutes I'm awesome and can do all those amazing stuff with food. Then I realiase that no, no I can't and I got back to being just me - as amazing as that is - and the most fantastic thing I can do is tomato pie. Don't get me wrong - that's pretty darn good, but it'd still be lovely to be able to whip up a crème brulée without thinking. Of course... I don't eat crème brulée, so I guess it would be kinda stupid... Then again - I wish I could be one of those who could just do... no, that won't do... You know what? I'm just gonna make my tomato pie and when that's done I'm gonna make muffins. Gooey chocolate muffins. Because I can.

If you ask me nicely I'll even save one for you. You can bring it with you when we go out and hunt all those tv-chefs who tell me I suck because I can't make all the shit they make. Good, huh?

'Til the edge of night

Mononucleosis. Wow. That just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? In Swedish we say "körtelfeber" - gland fever - and that's so much easier to pronounce. At least if you're Swedish and have a doctoral degree in medicine apparently. Poor people. And poor Englishman who has this mononucleosis. And poor me who lost the bet about how they were just gonna prescribe some antibiotics and rest. And poor us for not being able to kiss in about three weeks. More or less. I'm still very happy with my life though. (Between you and me - I feel a bit high.) I'm not really sure there was a point to all this - maybe just a bit of gloating that after several years' studies and work doctors still can't pronounce "mononucleosis" whereas I can. Yea, that makes me a bit proud actually. Suckers.

Enough!

Every now and then when I walk along the trainstation in the morning eating a banana I wonder how many of the business men I pass that get dirty thoughts in their heads. I've never actually stopped to ask any of them, but they all look at me strangely when they see that banana. Oh well, hopefully I'll brighten their day a bit. They probably need it.

Lord of the Rings: the Fellowship of the Ring is a damned good movie. Of course being me and having read the book have a few cons. Mostly that it bothers me when big parts of the book didn't get a part in the movie. Like Tom Bombadill. Sure, he adds nothing really, but wouldn't it be fun with a person who just talks in rhyme? At least I think he does. It was a horribly long time since I read any of the books if I'm honest. (Mostly I just glance at them with a scornful look wondering when they will burst into flame and begone from my sight.) Don't get me wrong here - the stories are lovely and all, but it's so damn much. No one cares about whoever's great-grandfather and don't get me started on the Swedish translation. Oh fine, please do. It's horrible! What do you mean "was that all"? It was awful, what else is there to say? You know what, stop pestering me! Shoo!

puddle

Is it degrading to lick the melted chocolate of a wrapping paper?

Should I be ashamed of myself now?

I can see that you're laughing, but this is a serious problem.

Several millions of people do this every year and none of them have the courage to stand up and admit that they have a problem.

Do you know how many people who actually die each year because of this?!

Stand up and demand for a chocolate which doesn't melt! Today!

*throws off yellow underpants and runs naked across a corn-field*

Smile, when your heart is aching

smile, even though it's breaking
when there are clouds in the sky
you get by

Yea, I have no idea if the song actually goes like this, but for some reason it got stuck in my head and I sang it out. With my best musical-stage-crowd-goes-wild-voice of course. Anything else would be a waste of talent. Fine, so it wouldn't be a waste of my talent, but of someone else's. (Don't bother - it won't make sense to you anyway.)

Now, another discussion between me and the English guy who seduced me and made me trip down from the glass mountain.
Him: "I always imagined that's how getting gang-raped would feel."
Me: "Running naked through a corn-field?"
Him: "Running backwards naked through a corn-field. I always imagined that with the shape of the corn..."
Yea, exactly. He's like me. But a man. It's weird isn't it. When we feel that it gets too much we start discussing Transformers. I maintain that it has an excellent entertainment value and he wants to shoot himself in the head. (Although he's currently showing me lolcats, which makes me want to shoot myself in the head so I guess it's a pretty even score thus far.)

When I was a kid I used to love Alvin and the Chipmunks. I even wanted to name my kid Alvin. For some reason my friends thought this would be mean to the kid based on the fact that he'd be named after a cartoon squirrel. They are squirells, aren't they? I'll get back to you on this. In the meantime - enjoy this amazing comic from "Least I Could Do". (http://leasticoulddo.com/comic/20051226) If you don't find this funny - we are no longer friends.

"'Cho-co-la', it's French."

I have this idea about getting rich. Or well, not so much rich as well-known. So far I have no idea as to when this is going to happen, but I have no doubt in my mind that it actually will at some point. It's a bit like Mr. Jesùs you know. Make damn sure that you're the son of god and then work from there. There are several things in that statement which don't work for me, but I have the determination. That should work. It should. It must. Why? Because I said so. That obviously is reason enough. No? Well, are you famous? Are you rich? No? Well, then, I think that speaks for itself, does it not?

Also my carpet is full of sprinkles. I am so clearly at the peak of my unknown existance here. Booyah!

Figglets!

When I get rich and famous and go on tours and have my own private loge I won't come with those ridiculous demands that "stars" do. I won't demand ten litres of distilled sea water from the Arctic Ocean. I won't go berserk if I don't have 20 kgs of meat from the Russian Seabear which only lives in Siberia. People won't get their heads chopped off just because they accidentally gave me eggshell-coloured roses when I wanted "bone white". What I will do is give people hugs and kisses and tell them that they're doing a lovely job. Ha, I got you there, didn't I? Of course, I won't do that. I will ask nicely for some liqorice and chocolate and water and when they laugh at me I'll call their mothers and say that their children are mean. You see, I believe that telling their mothers would help me get what I want. Then again, I'm not a star. Maybe that's for the best really. Maybe I should just be behind the stage co-ordinating stuff instead. I think I'd be really good at that. "What? Someone wanted 25 bottles and only got 23? Moahahaha! I mean, how sad..."

"Sure beats a kick in the teeth..."

You know that annoying CEO that you just wanna kick in the balls because he's a jackass? Yea, we kicked him down today. And by "annoying CEO" I mean the endboss in the game I play and by "we" I mean the people I play with. It was amazing. Wonderful. Brilliant. And poof - gone. It's a bit of an anti-climax really. You try and you die and you try and try for months and then it finally happens. It's like New Year's Eve right after the fireworks. "So now what?" Well, now we party! Then we do it all again next week with a higher setting. That's how it works, you see. Once you aquired what you wanted you instantly go after something else. The human brain is weird like that. But you know what? I don't care. We got the Lich King down! (No, I don't really know what a "lich" is, but I think it's some form of lice - sort of sounds the same, doesn't it?)

"Me-sa so sorry!" Yea, you bloody well should be!

Why is it that when I for once have something to write the site won't work? And why is it that when it works I get a horrible cold that stops me from doing anything? I have no idea. What I do know is that I'm currently walking around inside in sweater, sweatpants, fuzzy boots and a scarf. Not to mention the cover I've got wrapped around myself and the countless cups of tea I'm drinking. Or the oranges I'm forcefeeding myself with. Did I ever tell you that I really don't like oranges? I don't. Not even a little bit. No, siree.

Hopefully all this will scare the cold away. Far away. To someone else. (Yea, I know, but I like to live in hope!) I really don't have time to be sick. But for now I'm just gonna go outside, buy a kebab and some candy and then bring it home and eat it. Mmm... food...

dumpkopf

Coheed and Cambria is a band with such good music that I can listen to it on repeat for days. Of course, being me that's not really strange though, but still. The point is that the singer, Claudio Sanchez can not only sing and play the guitar, he can also write music and draw amazing pictures. I know that jealousy is one of the deadly sins, but I wanna be able to draw. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna! And yes, I'm about 3 years old mentally now. I wanna.

Just because I can't I'm gonna be adult and go and buy a new bed. I think my old one is at least 20 years old. So yes, "it's about bloody time" as one of my friends would say.

Todeloo!

Even seals can clap

Somehow I managed to fuck up again. My wonderful stationary computer crashed and with it it took all my tender love and care and understanding aswell as all passwords and stuff that I was stupid enough not to put down on a piece of paper. I know - stupid. I've tried to use all the passwords I know and normally use aswell as a few others and I still can't log on to my e-mail for the religions course. This poses a problem. Quite a big, annoying problem so if you find it out - please let me know. There'll be a cake-reward!

Warm round of applause!

There's a government election here in Sweden today. I cast a blanc vote - mostly because all the parties are the same no matter what they call themselves. So why vote then? Well, I want the right to whine about things and if I don't vote I don't think I have the right to complain. So I voted. For nothing! Because then I can complain about them all! Moahaha!

Moving on... a discussion over bacon and eggs led to the following question:
"Does a human egg taste the same as a chicken egg?"
This continued with me being completely disgusted and then quite interested as the discussion went to "pro-abortion" or "pro-life". "This would be the ultimate question for the pro-abortion. If they refuse to eat human eggs and call people 'cannibals' then it's quite the boost for the pro-life people."

I'm pro-abortion. But I won't eat human eggs. Hrm, maybe if you cover them in mayo. I'll get back to you on this.

perfect little brother

Buying coursebooks is a mission starting really nice with hopes and expectations and ends with a broken spirit on the verge of signing a contract with the Devil. What I've learned so far is a) Swedish book sites suck and b) English books are best ordered from an English book site. Every school year it's the same thing so I really should be used to it by now, but still I surprise myself every time. I guess I should just write a big note saying "order books in time" and "pass your exams" - if I'd done that I wouldn't have had this bookmess. I got the last books today though, it only took 14 days (should've taken between 5-8) from the Swedish site and then I still didn't get all I ordered from there. Of course I ordered that from the English site and got it a week ago, but still. Swedish sites suck ass.

True Blood is a lovely show. It really is. But when a guy gets burnt and is all black and scaly, then it's just disgusting. Dis-gus-ting.

Onwards my penguin minions!

Have you ever spilt tea all over your genital area? While being naked? No? It's an... experience. Have you ever accidentally kneed someone in the crotch? Twice? And then laughed hysterically when said someone cries out in pain? Have you ever poked someone in the stomach after they had a really big meal? Ha, I knew you weren't god's best child! I knew it! I'm onto you!

It's interesting how things work - the more focused I am on something, the more insane I seem to get. Take now for example. I'm studying and I'm focused and... what? Yes, I'm studying. This is "studying". Sort of. Kinda? Fine, so I'm taking a break to increase my efficiency! Happy?! Point is that I'm really focused (shut up) and my insanity just keeps coming back to me. It feels really good if I'm honest. Wouldn't it be cool if I could store it and sell it in jars? September Insanity 2010 - now as Eau de Toilette (I always found it funny that people are so fond of something that reads "toiletwater", but maybe that's just me.)

Bender: We all need to be shut down.

Especially you, Hedonism Bot!
Hedonism Bot: I apologise for nothing!

Purple-headed wombbroom!

Did I tell you that I spilt tea all over myself this morning? I did. It's a new low for me really. Hrm, wait... no, it isn't. Last time it was coke all over my semi-white skirt. I also accidentally elbowed the English gentlebot in the nose. So that it started to bleed. Oops.
Wow, sometimes I amaze myself. My clumsiness really does take on new highs sometimes.

I shall investigate this further! Carry on.

Ash to Trash

You know, I never thought I'd manage to pull myself together and actually pass everything that had to be passed in order to move on to the second year, but I did. Hooray! Of course, two days ago I found out that I wouldn't get my student loan because I didn't have enough credits from last year. Only, I had. I checked. And double-checked. And checked another five times. So when I spoke to the guidance counselor she couldn't get it either and it turned out it was a mistake and now I will get the loan. Hooray! Mostly because I really don't wanna spend another day in paintword. I think I'd kill myself if I had do. At the visit to the counselor I did find out another funny thing though. Apparently there was one exam that I didn't pass. I got a mail about having passed it at the beginning of the summer, but apparently I hadn't. Lovely. It's not a big deal, but then again - nothing's a big deal these days. I'm on a constant high really. Anyway, point is that I have to take the exam again. A third time. Hrm, where have I seen that before? Such a dèja-vu feeling here... [insert dramatic music]. I have to admit that I'm rather glad I found out now and not at the beginning of the summer because I think that would've broken my gentle spirit. (When are you gonna learn that it's my entry and my rules?) Yea, I know - it shouldn't happen in the first place, that's just really sucky, but oh well. Might aswell just bite the sour apple and do it again... mmm... sour apple...

Did I tell you about my hibiscus? I did, right? It's corall-coloured and lovely. And it's blooming! Waking up in the morning and seeing the flowers just makes me so incredibly happy. I know, I'm easily satisfied.

Some times I wonder if I take on too much. I'm studying my second year and every trip to and from the university is four hours in total. On top of that I'm also studying religion which I've wanted to do for ages and I play computer games and pretend to be supercool. Something obviously has to go, but which? Oh, the horrors of decisionmaking. Or... or maybe I just try to see how long I can keep it up? Yes... yes, I'll do that...

Vale lai lai

For some reason I can't install my Sims 2 to my stationary computer. It won't even give me a reason - just a big X and an annoying sound. It's not even a copied cd - it's bloody storebought and everything! Even got its own code!
You know, I love the technological revolution. I really do. I can play games on my stationary computer, chat on my laptop, watch a dvd or listen to music and I love it all. It's just that when technology decides to screw me over without using protection that I get a bit cranky. And think about easier days. Without technology. When people didn't have electricity. Or running water. Or when they shit in a big hole in the ground. Did you know that going to the shithouse used to be a social activity? Did you know that it still is in some parts of the world? Ah, the toilet. Now there's an excellent invention. I never get why people are so prude about it. Everyone goes, but no one ever talks about it. It's not like it's a secret that you were just in there and that you loved it! Be proud damnit! Out with it in the novels and comic books! Let's see Batman on the shithouse for once!

Oh, I gotta run - some people in white coats are here now...

Mr Brain's Pork Faggots

You know, I'm so happy I could burst. I feel like I could shoot off into the sky and turn into a million amazing fireworks. (Think about the fireworks in the first Lord of the Rings-movie and you're on the right track. Yes, of course the dragon. Have I taught you nothing?!)

Yesterday I got into a discussion with the Englishman of my preference when we were watching a show called QI. (It's short for "Quite Interesting" and it kinda was.) The question was why so many American citizens call 911 on Christmas morning. My idea was that the Christmaslights set the houses on fire. I thought it was a really good idea, but nope I was wrong. Apparently it is because they get new cellphones and since they don't have any money or cards in them they can't call anyone but 911. According to law in the United States cellphones have to be able to call 911 without either card or money.

Him: That's weird.
Me: We have the same in Sweden - you can call rescue without money. Not sure about the card though - think you might need one.
Him: What's the number for the rescue service in Sweden?
Me: 112. (Then I touched his mouth "1", his nose "1" and his eyes "2". "That's how they teach it to kids in Sweden.)
Him: 112 will get you the Coastguard in England.
Me: Really? I don't even know the number to the Coastguard in Sweden. It would be rather funny though if you started with the strange greeting phrase you guys have here. (They start with "You alright, are you?", I usually go for "hello" myself, but English folks always have to be so damn special.)
Him: 'I've been murdered I have!' Well, I guess you wouldn't call someone up if you've been murdered would you? It'd be a bit hard.
Me: 'You alright, are you?'
Him: 'No, I'm bloody well not, I've been murdered! It's the third time this month!' 'Are you at the sea?' 'No, I'm not.' 'Well, then we can't help you. Piss off.'

So this brings us to the conclusion that the English are weird. But we already knew that, didn't we? We surely all know at least one English person who's proved to be a bit cocoo in the old flubber. I know that I have. Obviously.

Apparently I'm gonna have an English breakfast now. If you don't hear from me again then call 999. I would need proper help and I'm nowhere near the sea.

[Later research has shown that the number 112 will get you help from other departments aswell - not only the coastguard.]

48 hours

You know, it's hard to be alone again. After having someone with you for three weeks it feels odd to come home to an empty apartment. I look over my shoulder and there's no one there who smiles at me. I make up a funny joke and there's no one to tell it to. I eat my breakfast alone in silence because there's no one to talk to. It's crazy how fast you can get used to something. I never thought I'd be one of those people who wants to spend every living second together with someone, but apparently fate decided that "hell yea you are". So now I'm watching The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian which isn't the greatest movie in the world, but the guy playing Prince Caspian is kinda hot so that's the reason I bought it. Now I just wanted to watch something that won't remind me of how alone I am and what is better than a movie with pink leaf-creatures, talking lions and a horn you can blow for help? Exactly!

Mmm... food...

sniper

Before I die there's several things I want to have done. Skydiving, windsurfing, mountain climbing. See the Statue of Liberty, the Eiffel Tower and the opera house in Sydney. Star in a musical, dance on a stage and make a speech in front of many many people. I'd also like to streak through a hotel corridor (so far I've had two opportunities to do so - none of them taken) and have sex under the stands at some form of game. Preferably outside. During the summer. When people are sitting on it. Yea, I know... I'm a bit weird sometimes... I'd also like to visit a city in France called Cap d’Agde. Why? Because it has a resort for nudists. No need for clothes, let's all be naked and happy! Then again... I kinda like wearing clothes... I kinda like it when old men don't stare at my body. I kinda like it when I don't have to see old men's penises swing back and forth when they walk. I kinda like not having to see old women's breasts hanging down to their knees. You know, I'll get back to you on this. I'm still torn.

Santa's Red Hat

I just managed to poke myself in my left eye. It kinda hurts. And it's kinda full of tears. And this morning at breakfast I might've cut my left index finger when cutting a bun open. Might've. Maybe it bled a bit. Maybe it hurt. Maybe I just shouldn't be allowed to do stuff. At all. Maybe it would just be best for the world if I was locked up in a padded cell and strapped to a bed. Wow, that'd be creepy. Lying there on my back and being unable to move. I'm not a fan of lying on my back so I'd probably panic rather quickly. Not to mention what one had to do when it's time to visit the ladies' room. I guess the needs would have to be done just then and there seeing as I'd be a danger to myself and others if I was released. Do they put a diaper on the patients? If I wasn't so freaked out by mental hospitals I'd check it right now.

oranges

Sometimes I fuck up. It's usually just small stuff like turning a piece of meat into a black rock or tripping over my own feet, but then sometimes it goes south rather royally. Like now when I've accidentally fucked up my e-mail. Fucked up how? Well... I might've changed the password and never really finished the process and thus gotten caught between "change password" and "answer secret question". I know - way to go! It's quite annoying. It's even more annoying that I had to send a mail to the support and provide a bunch of info to make sure that it's my e-mail. Like I remember my secret question. And even if I did - like it would be answered properly. That never happens. Times like these it's a trait I really hate about myself. If only I wrote stuff down. If only I planned ahead. If only I was smart enough to actually finish stuff and not end mid-process. What a world it would be! Now... all I have to do is wait another 20+ hours and hopefully they'll realise that yes, it's her account and yes, she's rather stupid and yes, we can fix her account for her. If this doesn't work I'm going to alternative e-mails. We don't want that.

Tip of the day: Singing with a bad throat is a really stupid idea.

chasing rabbits

The amount of money that football clubs pay for players range from crazy till completely insane. 130 million SEK is somewhere inbetween. I wish I had that amount of money. I mean, it's mental, but I still want it.

I wonder if anyone would pay that for me if I got kidnapped and why is it "kidnapped" when you speak about adults? Shouldn't it be "adultnapped" then? I guess "kidnapped" could work if it's kids who take adults, but still... it just doesn't work as it should.

It's raining again

/Marge Simpson

It's leaking in. Running along the walls. Making puddles on the floor. Everything is as it should be. You know, there's an episode of the Simpsons where Fat Tony builds a ramp for disabled at Springfield Elementary School. It's made of crackers and doesn't last very long. That's how it feels to work here. Like it's a house made of crackers that might fall down every second. Let me give you a tip - if you do something, make sure you do it properly, because you will get what you pay for. In this case that means leaking walls and water damage.

fantastic

Is there anything as exciting as reading about consumerism? I mean, it sure as hell beats playing World of Warcraft or watching a movie and it certainly beats working. It's so exciting that my head is spinning just now when I'm thinking about it. Yes, of course I'm lying. Reading about consumerism could be one of the most boring things I've ever done. It's probably not, but it could be. Then again, if I just do this now, then I can do something else later. And if I pass my exam then I can do whatever I want. As a reward. I believe in rewards. And I still haven't gotten that amazing silkdress I wanted. Huh? Oh, you know the one - deep red...? No? Hrm, maybe it just exists in my head then. Anyway, I'll get it somehow.

Some people should not be allowed to sing. Really. Because they suck. Bigtime.

Analyse

I've been neglecting you. That's really mean of me. It's like Yoko all over again. Shame on me. Shame, shame, shame. I don't hate you or anything, it's just that my brain turns into mush when I'm sick and then when I get well I don't know what to write. I still like you, you know. You still have a special place in my heart even though I don't write here. You. Are. Special. Yes, you. Obviously. Sheesh. I can't talk to you. You just don't listen. Go do something useful. Shoo.

Push It

Friday the 13th of August! Hooray! I love this day. Or well, not this day, but Friday the 13th. Good things always happen to me on this day - except that one day when I got snot on my shoes. Snot that wasn't even mine... God, that was disgusting.
You know, today it's six years since I got two of the sweaters in my closet - applegreen and applered. Six years! I'm sick. I would ask myself why I still remember the date, but you know - Friday the 13th is a cool date. Then again, it's just as uncommon as Thursday the 12th. Hrm, I never realised that before. Yes, my brain works lovely, thank you very much for your concern. Anyway, it wasn't just Friday the 13th. It was also a weekend of fun in a cabin with my friends. That was a great weekend. I don't think they remember the date, so it'll be fun to remind them tomorrow when we celebrate the birthday of my best friend. You know, we've been friends for 20 years this year. That's pretty damn impressive. Only had one real fight too and that lasted for about two weeks and then we moved on. (The secret is to communicate. Yes, I know - thought it was just some mumbo-jumbo made up by midgets in the woods, but nope. It actually works.) Wow, 20 years...

Go hide in the blades of that grass...

You know, when I get home from work tonight I'll have someone waiting for me. He said so himself. I guess he'll come at me with a knife while I take a shower... hrm, isn't that a movie? I have images of a shower curtain being ripped to shreds now. My beautiful shower curtain! With dolphins!

I drink a lot of tea. This morning I had two cups and yesterday I had one. Still, it's not so much as the English. They seem to think that a cup of tea is the ideal solution to any man's problems. "Got a bit of trouble with money? Have a cuppa." "Chased by a lion? Have a cuppa." "Got brutally gang-raped and can't walk? Have a cuppa, dear."
I'm not convinced. When I have moneytrouble it takes more than a cup of tea to solve it. Of course... I do believe in the power of chocolate, so maybe I shouldn't talk... Mmm... chocolate...

When I get home tonight I'll have my English boyfriend waiting for me (haha, never written that before) - hopefully without a sliced shower curtain. I'm fairly sure he'll have a cup of tea ready though. Even his dog drinks tea. Honestly. "Could you put the cup down on the floor? He won't give up easily." I stared at him in amazement and he said "he's an English dog - what do you expect". English people are weird.
Did you know that the word "weird" comes from "wyrd"? Or that "wyrd" means the same thing as weird, which is "odd", and comes from "Urd"? Urd is one of the norns in Norse mythology. No idea what a norn is? Watch Disney's Hercules and the three crazy old ladies there. That's it basically.

Run little rabbit, run...

My throat hurts. Not much, but noticable. Oh, I'm not complaining - I'm merely stating facts. It's my thing - let me do it.

You know, the last few days I've probably checked more cooking recipes than I've ever done in my life before. Everything looks delicious and then I somewhere along the way realise that I have to actually cook. That's when I usually die a bit inside. I probably could be a gourmet-chef. If I wanted to. But you know me - I don't want to. I could probably be an olympic sprinter aswell if I wanted to - but that requires effort. I don't like things that require effort.

Why does it feel like my brain is trying to escape through my nose and my lungs through my mouth? Don't they understand that they have to stay inside my body? They'll never make it out alive. I'll shoot them down and while they're begging me to spare their lives I'll tell them how much it pains me to have to do this. I'll tell them how good it was to be with them and then I'll laugh a sinister laughter (does that combo of words even work?) and kill them. All the time looking absolutely gorgeous of course.

Nerdiverse

There's something really annoying with having a cold in the middle of the summer. Like really really annoying. It's like fate's way of telling me that "no, it's much better for you if you just stay inside and don't do anything at all". Not that I do stuff usually, but you know... sometimes I actually want to.

So what about England this time? Was it better or worse? It was better. So. Much. Better. Of course, I've done enough travelling for a lifetime, but it was still better. Exceeded all expectations. Hazaa!

Top Quality Grade A Awesome Sauce

I'm flying to England tomorrow. This lovely country of wrong-side-traffic, bacon-and-eggs-breakfasts and pubs on every street corner. I'm really looking forward to it. To make it even better I'm flying with British Airways which are, without doubt, the best airline company in Europe. (Trust me - I've tried quite a few.) And I'm flying from Copenhagen - I love Copenhagen Airport. It's a very big airport and have destinations all over the world. Just being there with all the other people flying somewhere is such an amazing feeling. If I could I'd live there. Of course that'd probably take the magic away... I doubt that the guy, whose life the Terminal is based upon, liked it. Doing something too much just takes the magic away. And you know - I need magic. Preferably lots of it. Different kinds. I feed of it. Well, that or small children. Ever had a big cauldron, boiled a baby in it, seasoned with some spices and ate it? It's fabutastic!

The light you did not see did not erase your memories.

I. Am. So. Bored. Reading the news over and over doesn't help, but it did make me realise that nope, I don't really care about the world now either. Feels kinda good to know, I must admit. Although it did feel a bit wierd just now when I realised that I care more about recipes for cakes and muffins and such than about the situation in wherever the hell it was. And just because of that I decided to make a save-the-children-test about where I'd've been born if I'd been born today. According to save-the-children I have a 0,08% chance to be born in Sweden... Apparently it would've been Brazil. Yea, I don't buy that. You see, the reason I'm here now is because my parents decided to have fun in 1984. Since I'm 50% my father and 50% my mother and they're both Swedish the chances don't even exist for me being born in Brazil. And if you ever claim that I use science against fate I'll kill you. In fact, just forget everything you just read.

so beautiful

Today I've signed in to msn more times than I care to admit. I've also been logged out more times than I can count. It's a bit annoying because it means that the past nine hours I've been working have been incredibly slow. On a good note though - it's just 57 more minutes to go. Hooray!

Have I told you about when my stationary computer had a nervous breakdown? No? Okay, here comes a quick recap then. I bought it in 2006 and in late 2007 it broke down so then I bought a laptop. (I know, it's just sad what people with money can do.) In 2008 it got fixed by replacing the motherboard and the ram-memory and worked like charm. Until January this year when it broke down again. It started rebooting itself and forgot settings and at the end it never came past the bios-page. After having checked the internet for solutions I decided to just leave it be until I had the time and money to make a proper effort. Time passed and when I started working again I spoke to my co-worker about it and he told me different things it could be. "Listen to beeps and see what's wrong." So this Sunday I decided to check if it was the keyboard or the mouse that fucked it up. It wasn't. Then I wondered if changing back to my old ram-memory would make a difference. So I tried changing the ram. It made a difference. It made one hell of a difference. A laptop vs. a stationary computer is like walking around with sunglasses. Sure, you can see everything properly, but once you remove them you realise how beautiful the world is without them.
Of course, fixing said computer also means I made a wishlist for when I get my salary. I feel like such a geek. It feels amazing. If I was alone here I'd flex.

I keep dancing on my own

It's hard to be at work right now. It's hard to work with someone you'd prefer not to be in the same room as. It's even harder when it used to be someone you liked to spend a lot of time with, hang out with, have fun with. Don't get me wrong, I'm not pitying myself or anything - it's just not as much fun as it used to be. At least it's money, right? That's what I keep telling myself. At least it's money. And I only have to work four days this week. Well, four evenings really, but four none the less. And on the fifth day I get to go away, fly away to another place and I can spend days doing absolutely nothing except being with the one I love. That's what keep me going now. It's what keeps me from saying "fuck it - I'm going home". Only seven hours left today. I can do that.

Logical enemy

Some days are just not the best days. Like today. My sugarpaste was too sticky to be sugarpaste and too firm to be frosting. And of course, now I realise that I probably could make something frosting-like out of it. See, what I mean? Just one of those days. At least the laundry worked out alright and the tomato pie looks good. My cake that was supposed to be really awesome is now spongecake ---> strawberries in pieces and whipped cream ---> spongecake ---> chocolate cover. I guess it's stupid of me to not be satisfied - especially since it was the first time ever I made spongecake and it turned out alright - but ah, I don't know. After having done the cake and starting on the dishes I accidentally splashed my laptop with a bit of water. And when I was about to put a screwdriver back in my toolbox I almost tripped and hurt myself. Almost. Of course, being another day I've also spent hours listening to my neighbours' music and now yells. And a squeaky toy. I hate squeaky toys. And people. And cakes.

Sometimes I wish I could just settle. Just be happy. And of course I just tripped when I went to answer my phone. And tonight I'm attending a birthday/graduation-party. I really look forward to that, but for now I'm gonna sit on my couch and not move for at least an hour. I need that.

To be continued...

Move a little bit closer. A little closer. A little closer. That's it. You know, I really like the way you read my stuff without judging. I like how you occasionally shake your head at my escapades. I smile while I write for you.
And now to something completely different. (Please remember the nice words.) I don't think my sugarpaste will be proper sugarpaste. I think it'll be more like frosting. You see, yesterday it didn't seem really elastic. And it's not supposed to be very sticky and mine kinda was - I might've had too little powdered sugar in it. Might have. That was yesterday though so it might've improved insanely until today. I made it green (of course), but well... we'll see how it turns out. If worst comes to worst I'll just make a chocolate muffin and put some "frosting" on it or something. At least it tasted really nice. And that's what counts right? The taste? (Yes, I know, a bit of me just fell to pieces by that sentence - it's not the taste that matters - it's how it looks, damnit!)

Honeylips

This weekend I'm gonna make some cake. Like cake-cake, not my normal gooey chocolate cake and I hope it'll be awesome. I have high hopes. Like really high hopes. And the research I'm currently doing... There's so much information it's like a complete overload. Of course, with my amazing brain capacity I can store it all (it's my brain, my writing and my lies). But seriously - have you ever heard of "gum tragacanth"? Me neither. Of course some more searching solved that problem - it's some form of sap from some tree in Iran and it's apparently the best one you can get. Yea, I'm not gonna use it myself, but I just wanted to add a difficult word really.
The point of all this research, which is currently eight pages long, is to be able to make something more fun than my chocolate cake. At the moment it contains how to make "fondant", "sugarpaste" and the difference between "cups", "ounces" and "decilitres" and also some Fahrenheit to Celsius-conversions. (Those Americans are weird.) Hopefully it'll be great and then I'll show you and if it'll suck we'll never speak of it again. Deal?

Oh, and don't forget to brush your teeth!

My 100th post was about prostitution. What number 200 was about I have no idea what so ever - it didn't make any sense at all - and 300 was about a horror movie. This is my 400th entry and as such I think it's time I share some knowledge I found in a magazine at work.

10 ways to live forever (almost).

1. Get angry. Men who express their anger reduce the risk of dying prematurely. Apparently this doesn't include violence - that's bad for your health - but just enough rage will be good for you in the long run, reducing the risk of getting heart attacks and strokes.
   
   
2. Spice up your life. Turmeric, one of the things in curry, is said to boost the immune system, dampen inflammations and help against gallstones. Apparently this spice helps (and this is translated from Swedish so well... you know) "to suffocate COX-2, an enzyme which causes inflammations and pain".
   
   
3. Chill. Cold and heat are often called "stress factors", but studies have shown that small amounts of these will prolong... Hrm, I have no idea if that's the correct word... make lab rats live longer. Cold can shrink tumours since it increases the activity of the white immune system cells.
   
   
4. Sing. Singing brings with it a lowering of the heart beat, lowering of the blood pressure and it lowers the levels of stress hormones in the body. Studies with a bunch of really old people who sang in a choir have shown that they visited the doctor much less frequent, had fewer depressions, used less medication and tripped more seldom than the ones who didn't sing.
   
   
5. Drink "hard water". Heart diseases are less frequent in areas with hard water and the experts think that the reason behind this is the higher amounts of Calcium and Magnesium in these waters. Calcium lowers the blood pressure and Magnesium is important for a healthy heart.
   
   
6. Express gratitude. To be a part of a religious ceremony once a week can add two or three years to your life. Apparently this study also checked other factors such as exercise and cholesterol dampening medication and it found out that people who do some religious thing once a week have a 21% bigger chance for a long life than the rest. (I can't help but wondering if this includes all religious actions...)
   
   
7. Have an orgasm. Two orgasms or more per week can increase your life with up to eight years. (Now that is pretty fucking cool. So that means I'll live to be over 200 - awesome!) This study showed that the risk of men dying prematurely was 50% lower among those who had a few orgasms. Have some fun increases the production of the immune strengthening hormone DHEA.
   
   
8. Floss. If you suffer from a gum infection the body's immune system starts working and this increases the risk for infections - one of the reasons behind heart diseases. If you floss you'll decrease this because it'll usually make you keep your teeth. (This is incredibly simplified on the base that there's an insane amount of numbers in the original text.)
   
   
9. Become a mother later. If you pop out a kid later in life chances are that you have a better economical stability and thus less stress. Chances are therefore bigger that you'll live longer and feel less stressed about growing old.
   
   
10. Don't relax too much. Too much stress is bad, but so is too little. According to a study women who stressed just the right amount had more evolved two-year olds than the ones who didn't. It's believed that the stress hormone Cortisol actually helps the body's organs to evolve while it's known that too much of it decreases growth.

Being me I will, of course, sum this up in one sentence. Get a partner, get laid here and there and everywhere and protect yourself until you reach like 40. Have fun at your 100th birthday! I know I will!

This fish tastes an awful lot like schnitzel...

When I was a kid I always used to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on TV. I have a memory of being six years old, sitting at the dinnertable at kindergarden and have a discussion about the show in English versus Swedish. Of course, being me my contribution to said discussion was "I prefer to watch it in English - I can learn to read better then. I can read the text four times before it disappears". (Yea... I was weird as a kid aswell.) I was always Donatello when we played - you know, because of the big stick and the purple mask. Was quite a big fan of purple as a child - you know, before I realised how incredibly awesome green is!
So uhm anyway... the one superpower I've always wanted to have is invisibility. It's so cool to be able to become invisible. Although I must admit I just want it to be able to sneak into the boys' lockerroom. Or well, that's the main reason anyway. The boys always used to get into our lockerroom after gymnastics in primary school and it'd be nice to get back. (Is it primary school? Ah, grade 1-3 anyway.) Now don't take this the wrong way or anything - and this is something I remember very clearly - I used to flash them. As in jump up on a bench, open my towel and flash. You know, it seems harmless when you're seven, but now it seems kinda... disturbed. Figured it'd be a cool superpower though since invisibility is already taken. the Flasher - she makes them stop. Yea, she does indeed. If nothing else she makes people stop and wonder what the hell she's doing. I'd love to have an amazing outfit consisted of stockings, corsett and some form of underwear, but it's a bit hard to flash in that. Maybe I'll just have a pyjamas like the old gold-digger with a poop-thing at the ass. It could be green. It'd be kinda cool. You know, I'll have to get back to you on this. Some research is definitely needed here.

I'm fucked up

Fear leads to anger.

Anger leads to hate.

Hate leads to suffering.

/Yoda

Yes, that's right - I'm quoting Yoda. A green puppet with a hand up its ass. You got a problem with that? You know, I'm gonna be honest with you here. I hate Yoda. Sure, he's green and tiny, but he just annoys the hell out of me. Hrm, and all of a sudden I see a big bit of myself in him. (I would love to be awesome with a lightsaber.) And his awesome skills with the force would've helped quite a bit at work this morning when we had about 4 centimetres of water all over the floor. Monday mornings are generally a bit boring, but mopping floors for two hours does make the time pass - and between you and me - it's quite a different thing from checking paint after paint after paint. There was sooo much water though and there's gonna be water for days and it just keeps pouring out from under the cabinets and stuff. Quite different I must say. Interesting though.

Machines making machines.

How perverse.

/C3PO

I'm calm

My telephones are fucked. I have no idea what's wrong with them, but for some reason I can't call people. It's a bit annoying. Especially since I want to call people. A part of me is wondering if it's an unpaid phone bill, but since my internet's working and it's all the same company and bill I kinda doubt it. Ah, this is doing my head in and all my dishes are done so I can't take my frustration out there. Fuck, this is annoying!

Open your eyes

Every now and then (mostly now) I come across silly little things I like to share. Today my co-worker is contributing with the text on his t-shirt.

What happens when you drink a number of pints:

1. No change for your English.
2. Your English goes up a level.
3. Your English goes up a level (but your grammar goes down).
4. You become very fluent, but start mixing English with your own language.
5. You discover you can sing in English and are brilliant at karaoke.
6. You suddenly know a lot of taboo words in English.
7. You can't speak English at all (and also forget your own language).
8. You start speaking American English.

This t-shirt is from London and I can't help but wonder if this contempt for the American kind of English is something that's common for the English people. Maybe they're just stuck up idiots themselves who hate all other kinds of English. I'll get back to you on this.

swooning

You know, the sucky thing with working evenings is that sometimes there's nothing to do. So to entertain myself I browse through all the stupid things - that aren't banned by this lovely company I work for - on this new thing called "the In-ter-net" . My favourite site is one that has an insane amount of silly pictures of everything you can literally imagine. Today I started checking different cakes. That makes me so inspired. Have I told you I love cakes? Ah, right - sorry, I forgot that. Anyway, there's something special about making an absolutely perfect cake from scratch. It's just... satisfying, I guess. One day I shall make the perfect cake and it shall be tasty and delicious and angels shall be singing at the sight of this amazing wonder.

Anyway, when I was done with the cakes I started browsing vintage adds and cards and found this:

Peggy is a whore indeed. Putting herself out like that. Bad Peggy.

"Of course. In love and war everything's allowed."

Today's tip from Mother Goose: If you're making pork pancake - make sure you crack the eggs first. That way you can fish out any pieces of eggshell that might join the bowl. However, if you follow the recipe and do it after you've gotten everything else in then you have a problem. Or well, not so much problem as eggshell. So now I can look forward to finding a piece of shell in my pork pancake. Oh well, at least I know it's there.

Is there anything more disgusting than taking a shower early in the morning? Hrm, as soon as I typed that I realised that yes, there is. This is making no sense at all so I'm gonna stop right here.

Feather boa

There are three things in particular that get to me lately. I don't want them to, but they do. Like the heat. The last time I was over-heated like this was in 2005 in London. Okay, that might've been a little worse because I almost fainted, but the point is there. Last Sunday (I know, English is weird - anyway, the one that just passed) I had to put a wet towel over my head because I couldn't function like a normal person. Yesterday at work I had to spend a lot of time rinsing my wrists and sitting down because movement made me over-heated. (I know, but if you rinse your wrists or ankles you cool the blood a bit and thus chill yourself - for a little while anyway.) You know, one would think that after the really bad thunderstorm yesterday night the heat would clear out a bit. Of course, being me, I didn't hear anything. I went to bed at 2:30am and it started at 3am. How sucky is that? Always the same thing - I speak to someone and they go on about how they couldn't sleep because of the thunder. "Thunder? There was no thunder." "Oh, yes there was. Could hardly speak at all - it was that loud." "You're kidding?" "Nope, kept me up all night." "Damn, I missed it again!" Always the same. I guess I should be happy that I'm not a light sleeper, but I want some thunder so I can pretend I'm all evil and stuff! Uhm... rephrasing - I'm very happy that I'm not a light sleeper so I can sleep all through the night. Yes... that'll... do...
The third thing that gets to me is that I wasn't able to watch the World Cup with my Dutch friend. I really wanted to do that, but to quote my best friend "being an adult is about saying 'no' because you can't afford it". It sucks. I don't like to be an adult any longer. I'd like to be a... Yea... No, I don't want to be a child, I don't want to be a teenager and I certainly don't want to be an middle-aged woman or an old lady. I think I'll just stay where I am and discuss the World Cup with you instead.

I really wanted Germany to win - you know, play-style-wise. Just cheering-wise I rooted for Holland, but the way they played in the final I didn't feel to bad for being split with my support. (Several summers in Spain does that to you.) I don't think that Spain was the worthy winner, but in that game they were. Of course, there's been critique against the British referee and I can understand that. He didn't give out nearly as many cards as he should've had. And he was harder on the Dutch team. Of course, kicking someone in the chest isn't very nice, now is it? Personally it wasn't the most fun game I've ever seen and I think the referee took out his eyes and placed them in the locker-room in a jar or something, because he missed a lot of shit. I think FIFA should get Pierluigi Collina back. Sure the man looks like a skeleton, but he's the best. Doubtlessly.

Angelic

Glee is such a good show. You know, I would totally join such a thing. If I could act. And sing. And dance without hurting myself. Okay, so I can dance, but I doubt that I can do it without pulling a muscle. Then again - it was a very long time since I danced properly. Way too long ago. I actually danced lambada on a stage once when I was like 9 with loads of plastic ribbons tied around my waist. Thinking back and thinking about what kind of a dance lambada is it's a bit creepy. It's like the p-word waiting to happen. Today it would've been a moral outrage. At least here, in this lovely politically correct country. Of course, being like we Swedish people are, we would try to see both sides of the story and I wouldn't be surprised if someone ended up blaming the kid for being "provocative". People would take sides. We would have a civil war. People would die. Die for their beliefs. I guess that would clean this country out a bit though. You know, I'll get back to you on this. I mean, I'll get back to you as soon as I realise what "this" is because now I don't even have a clue.

And now the song is over...

Let me give you a tip: If your VCR isn't plugged in - don't try to shove a tape into the opening. It won't work and the VCR will make a scared sound. Now, as soon as you actually plug in the VCR then it will work wonders. So what am I watching at that requires a VCR? Tiny Toon Adventures. There's just something special about insane cartoon characters running around and being silly. Yes, sometimes I do wish I was a cartoon - it'd be more accepted to be completely out of it then. Somehow public clothing changes are seen as a bad thing. Damn prude society!
You know, I'd actually forgotten how much I like these guys. There's just something special with a really good cartoon show. Hrm, I think I'll go watch some silly symphonies. If only I remembered the name of the one where there's a hurricane - that's the best one. I'll get back to you on this because it annoys the hell out of me.

spiderwebs

I hate Aristocats. Don't get me wrong, it's a great movie, but I hate it. The sad part is that I still have it and that I don't really know why I hate it. Somehow I suspect that it's the cats that do it. Those bloody cats...

You know, if I was Snowhite and I was singing and looking into a well and a guy turned up next to me and finished my song it would piss me off. This is my moment you wuss in tights!

On a completely un-related note: I have cinnamon in a tin can in my kitchen. I also have three tables, a non-working computer and loads of books, but the point here is the cinnamon in a tin can. It's a bit stupid but I've always wanted to be one of those who have the most amazing kitchen with lots of different spices and stuff and I never really got around to it. Mostly because I don't work well in a kitchen if I'm not baking. Anyway, I had a pack of cinnamon and the bag was sort of leaking a bit so I thought "why not use one of the cans here?" and I have to say that it was a good idea. In case you wonder the can is red with golden stars and a red and white checked-patterned ribbon tied around it with a bow. That's where my cinnamon lives now. I hope it's happy. I'm happy.

Foreign Devils

You know, the guy I'm head over heels for (yes, I know - but you know me, there really is no point in denying the obvious) is from England. I never really think about it since I speak English with a lot of people, but sometimes I find myself realising exactly how incredibly English he really is. Let me give you an example. Have you ever heard the word "settee"? Ah no, that's "setter" and it's a creature with a tail. Apparently a "settee" is a couch. I mean, sure I get that they want to be original, but for the love of god - adapt to the world!
I wish you could've heared the disgust in his voice when he had to explain to me that it was a "couch". It was hilarious. Although I guess I shouldn't laugh at him - I'll probably end up using it myself. I mean, it's in my vocabulary now. Oh the horror!
Of course, it always makes me a bit happy when I try to explain things and he doesn't really get it. Like when I told him what a "schäslong" [shae:sl:ong] is. "It's like a long thing you sit on and then you have support for the back where the head is? You know, sort of like a shrink-couch?" "Ah, so a settee?" "Well, yea... I suppose..."
Do you know what the worst part is? I'm gonna start talking like him. Yea, I can just feel it creeping up on me. It's like when I visited the Netherlands and had my lovely whatever-dialect, on Thursday and Friday, then slipped into some strange British version on Saturday and then had the most strange dialect I've ever had on Sunday. And I just couldn't make it stop! Mommy, I'm scared.

Days like these I wish my underwear would fit my ass better. Or that I just wore a bloody thong. (And yes, I just realised how very wrong that sentence is.)

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean that they won't come to get you!

Okay, I have a question. When was the last time you showered the biggest carpet you have? Yes, showered. You know, as in took it into the shower and poured water on it? Can't remember? Oh, alright - let me be a bit more specific.

When was the last time you showered the biggest carpet you have because you accidentally dropped a package of cocoa on it at like 5:50am in the morning?

You know, sometimes I wonder what I have against chairs. If I'd just been standing on a chair like a normal person I would've reached my cinnamon without problems and I wouldn't have to clean up cocoa and I would've been in time for work. (I was only two minutes late, but still.) Besides, I had such a good outfit on and I had to change it because, of course, I got myself covered aswell. Sometimes I'm just such an idiot.

On a good note - at least the carpet is getting properly cleaned...

heatwave

I think my laptop is sick. Lately it seems to get insanely over-heated after only a few minutes and yes, I know that the videocard isn't really what it should be, but but...
I just hope it won't become like my mobile phone - it kinda only works when I have to call people. I get text messages four hours later - if I get them at all - and people can call me when I'm holding the phone in my hand and I don't get the call. I don't know why it's doing like that, but it might have something to do with the fact that I've dropped it a few times. (A few being probably more than 30.) Electronics just don't have the durability it used to have, you know? I mean, take my Super NES. Me and my sister got it for Christmas in 1992 and besides the fact that I had to update a cord it still works. It turns 18 years old this year. My baby becomes legal! I feel so proud!

right-side-traffic

I was going through some of my old Swedish entries and found some funny stuff. As you might've noticed I'm completely insane. There really is no way to break it easy to people - it's just rather obvious as soon as I start speaking. My best friend on the other hand is a bit closet-insane. You don't realise it when you meet her, but sometimes she just says things which are so completely weird that I just stare at her in amazement. This isn't one of those, but it still sums her up pretty good.

About the Olympics in 2006: "I think everyone should get a medal - that way no one will get disappointed. But since this apparently is a competition and not kindergarden, where everyone gets an award, only three people can get a medal."

This is something I wrote in 2006 on May 8th:
"The temperature has gone up 20 degrees in a month. That's not normal. That's greenhouse effect. Greenhouse effect isn't healthy. Unhealthy contributes to death. We're all gonna die.

Todeloo."

Sometimes I really amaze myself. I mean, to really have grasped the concept of the world at the age of 22! It's wonderful!

January 2nd 2006:
"Today's conversation about the movie 28 Days Later:
Henrik: He is naked in almost the entire movie.
Me: If I should watch it when I get home instead..."

January 3rd 2006:
"We've agreed that you can't be good-looking, smart and healthy at the same time. You can be good-looking and smart, but then you're insane. As a base for this we (me) have taken some of the hottest and sexiest people in the history of the movies; the phantom in the Phantom of the Opera, Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars and Scarecrow in Batman Begins. They're all incredibly hot and very smart, but oh so insane that there's no one like them."
Same entry as a last note: "Cillian Murphy isn't naked throughout the move - only in the beginning (and then he's nude-nude) and somewhere in the middle, but that's alright aswell.

You know, it's really hot in here. Yesterday evening I lay on my couch with my balcony door wide open waving a folding fan and it was just insane. Today it's a little less hot, but wow - the air is standing still. I keep wondering if it's the heat or my head that does it. Lately I'm just everywhere all the time - it's like being high (I think - never been high). I'm so happy and you know, I'm in love. It makes it kinda hard to focus and everything is just wonderful. A part of me is afraid I'm gonna crash again and then the other part realises that I'm really in love with this guy and that it just works. We don't agree on everything, we can discuss things properly and he makes me laugh. I'm going to enjoy this and make it work. I deserve this. I really do. And yes, he's in love with me back. That's why it's so good. Did I mention that he is completely insane aswell?

to the stars

There was a time when I couldn't wait for it to be the last day of April so I could go get a swim. It was many years ago now, but it was a thing I had with my sister and some of her friends. We'd go down to the, hrm I guess "sheep meadows" will have to do since that's what they were, watch the bonfire and then go down to the sea to take a swim. You see, where I live it's tradition to light a bonfire every April 30th. It's called "Valborgsmässoafton" [va:lb:orgsmess:o:aft:on] in Swedish and "Walpurgis Night" in English. (You know, I wonder if my phonetics actually help anyone. I doubt they'd help me.) It's basically a tradition in which you light a fire to welcome spring and shoo away winter. It's one of our heathen traditions that I'm so fond of. You see, according to the Christians of the past this was the night when bonfires were lit to keep the witches from going to the Devil and have the night of their life. Fires were lit on high hills and such to stop them. (I have to admit that I didn't actually know this - thank you wikipedia - and I know everything about anything. This is my entry - get used to it.)
Here in Sweden Walpurgis Night is basically a holiday. Most people only work half day and May 1st is our labour day so there is a lot of partying going on that day.
Hrm, I do believe I lost track here... Oh yes, the swim! During later years my swims have been pushed further and further into the year. You see, I don't like to swim alone and since no one wanted to swim with me I just didn't swim until it was warm enough for others. (I know - weaklings!) I even think there's been a year when I didn't swim at all because I was just working all year. That's a bit sad considering that water and beaches and swimming is in my blood. The salty smell of the ocean, the smooth feeling of sand between your toes, a late-night swim in the sunset... It's all part of me. So... yesterday I got it. All of it. It was more than I could've hoped for - it was more a dive in - dive out than an actual swim but all of me got under water, I had the company of my best friend (even though she didn't swim), I had a lovely sunset and I had the Baltic Sea. What more can you wish for?