We watched Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels today and it made me think. You know all those gangster and mafia bosses? They're always really small or really old and still everyone are scared as hell of them? Why is that? How did they get their reputations? "Oh, I 'eard o' 'im! Chopped'em up good, 'e did! Tha's why they call 'im 'Chris the Chopper'." Did they really chop people up? No, of course they didn't. They were just smart enough to hire people dumber than themselves to do the dirty work for them. They get the reputation, the dumbasses get paid and the poor sucker gets killed.
A friend told me yesterday that sometimes when he speaks to me he thinks that I'd actually be scary when I'm mad, but then he just remembers how "tiny" I am and realises that I would never be scary. I think he has a point. I won't ever be scary, which leads me back to my plan about being terrifying. It will never work out, but the B-plan about respect might. So now my plan is to find two big guys much much dumber than me and have them do the dirty work for me. I'll of course be need a new name aswell - I could go with "A", I suppose, and let everyone think I'm a man. Or I'll just add something and make my whole appearance strangely creepy. Imagine a tiny woman, who doesn't look very frightening, smiling a friendly smile at you. Then imagine that the big boys behind her obeys her every word and you owe her money or whatever. Hrm, I should go out hunting...
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