Last year 13000 people died in their beds and only 200 on the trains. From now on I'm not going to sleep in my bed. The train is good enough for me.

I have a thing for quotes. It's like a deep, old crush that never really went away. I used to have a habit of quoting things so much that one of my friends told me to shut up because she really wasn't interested. Since then I don't do it - unless there's a situation that really requires on of course...
Anyway, here are some I really like - all said/stolen by Mark Twain.

• Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. (The main reason I always admit my faults - well... that and the fact that there's no point in denying them anyway.)
• Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. (See - health and stuff is just a fag. DON'T LISTEN TO IT!)
• Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. (Hear hear - dirty nudists!)
• Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
• I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. (I'd never make a story up... ever...)

And of course the classic (which I never ever follow because it takes the fun away):

• It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.