cool cats

The Invasion is an interesting movie. I want to say that it has a happy ending, but somehow it's kinda hard to actually do that. It's one of those movies which makes you think after you turned it off. I like that. Even if it means that I say to everyone who won't listen what a complete load of tripe it was (like Watchmen - sheesh) - if it makes me think, it did do something properly.

Something else that's interesting is the eternal battle of the worlds that is currently taking place in my apartment. Between who? The Gummibears and the Galactic Empire. Yes, my boyfriend belongs to the "galactic empire" now. And the gummibears are taking over his laptop while playing the Imperial March. I don't really know when my life took a swing from being mundane to being completely insane, but I'm quite happy with the fact that it kept the "ane".

Ooo, liqorice...

What if?

Every now and then I go out into my kitchen, have a look around and pretend to be a master chef. For a few minutes I'm awesome and can do all those amazing stuff with food. Then I realiase that no, no I can't and I got back to being just me - as amazing as that is - and the most fantastic thing I can do is tomato pie. Don't get me wrong - that's pretty darn good, but it'd still be lovely to be able to whip up a crème brulée without thinking. Of course... I don't eat crème brulée, so I guess it would be kinda stupid... Then again - I wish I could be one of those who could just do... no, that won't do... You know what? I'm just gonna make my tomato pie and when that's done I'm gonna make muffins. Gooey chocolate muffins. Because I can.

If you ask me nicely I'll even save one for you. You can bring it with you when we go out and hunt all those tv-chefs who tell me I suck because I can't make all the shit they make. Good, huh?

'Til the edge of night

Mononucleosis. Wow. That just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? In Swedish we say "körtelfeber" - gland fever - and that's so much easier to pronounce. At least if you're Swedish and have a doctoral degree in medicine apparently. Poor people. And poor Englishman who has this mononucleosis. And poor me who lost the bet about how they were just gonna prescribe some antibiotics and rest. And poor us for not being able to kiss in about three weeks. More or less. I'm still very happy with my life though. (Between you and me - I feel a bit high.) I'm not really sure there was a point to all this - maybe just a bit of gloating that after several years' studies and work doctors still can't pronounce "mononucleosis" whereas I can. Yea, that makes me a bit proud actually. Suckers.

Enough!

Every now and then when I walk along the trainstation in the morning eating a banana I wonder how many of the business men I pass that get dirty thoughts in their heads. I've never actually stopped to ask any of them, but they all look at me strangely when they see that banana. Oh well, hopefully I'll brighten their day a bit. They probably need it.

Lord of the Rings: the Fellowship of the Ring is a damned good movie. Of course being me and having read the book have a few cons. Mostly that it bothers me when big parts of the book didn't get a part in the movie. Like Tom Bombadill. Sure, he adds nothing really, but wouldn't it be fun with a person who just talks in rhyme? At least I think he does. It was a horribly long time since I read any of the books if I'm honest. (Mostly I just glance at them with a scornful look wondering when they will burst into flame and begone from my sight.) Don't get me wrong here - the stories are lovely and all, but it's so damn much. No one cares about whoever's great-grandfather and don't get me started on the Swedish translation. Oh fine, please do. It's horrible! What do you mean "was that all"? It was awful, what else is there to say? You know what, stop pestering me! Shoo!

puddle

Is it degrading to lick the melted chocolate of a wrapping paper?

Should I be ashamed of myself now?

I can see that you're laughing, but this is a serious problem.

Several millions of people do this every year and none of them have the courage to stand up and admit that they have a problem.

Do you know how many people who actually die each year because of this?!

Stand up and demand for a chocolate which doesn't melt! Today!

*throws off yellow underpants and runs naked across a corn-field*

Smile, when your heart is aching

smile, even though it's breaking
when there are clouds in the sky
you get by

Yea, I have no idea if the song actually goes like this, but for some reason it got stuck in my head and I sang it out. With my best musical-stage-crowd-goes-wild-voice of course. Anything else would be a waste of talent. Fine, so it wouldn't be a waste of my talent, but of someone else's. (Don't bother - it won't make sense to you anyway.)

Now, another discussion between me and the English guy who seduced me and made me trip down from the glass mountain.
Him: "I always imagined that's how getting gang-raped would feel."
Me: "Running naked through a corn-field?"
Him: "Running backwards naked through a corn-field. I always imagined that with the shape of the corn..."
Yea, exactly. He's like me. But a man. It's weird isn't it. When we feel that it gets too much we start discussing Transformers. I maintain that it has an excellent entertainment value and he wants to shoot himself in the head. (Although he's currently showing me lolcats, which makes me want to shoot myself in the head so I guess it's a pretty even score thus far.)

When I was a kid I used to love Alvin and the Chipmunks. I even wanted to name my kid Alvin. For some reason my friends thought this would be mean to the kid based on the fact that he'd be named after a cartoon squirrel. They are squirells, aren't they? I'll get back to you on this. In the meantime - enjoy this amazing comic from "Least I Could Do". (http://leasticoulddo.com/comic/20051226) If you don't find this funny - we are no longer friends.

"'Cho-co-la', it's French."

I have this idea about getting rich. Or well, not so much rich as well-known. So far I have no idea as to when this is going to happen, but I have no doubt in my mind that it actually will at some point. It's a bit like Mr. Jesùs you know. Make damn sure that you're the son of god and then work from there. There are several things in that statement which don't work for me, but I have the determination. That should work. It should. It must. Why? Because I said so. That obviously is reason enough. No? Well, are you famous? Are you rich? No? Well, then, I think that speaks for itself, does it not?

Also my carpet is full of sprinkles. I am so clearly at the peak of my unknown existance here. Booyah!

Figglets!

When I get rich and famous and go on tours and have my own private loge I won't come with those ridiculous demands that "stars" do. I won't demand ten litres of distilled sea water from the Arctic Ocean. I won't go berserk if I don't have 20 kgs of meat from the Russian Seabear which only lives in Siberia. People won't get their heads chopped off just because they accidentally gave me eggshell-coloured roses when I wanted "bone white". What I will do is give people hugs and kisses and tell them that they're doing a lovely job. Ha, I got you there, didn't I? Of course, I won't do that. I will ask nicely for some liqorice and chocolate and water and when they laugh at me I'll call their mothers and say that their children are mean. You see, I believe that telling their mothers would help me get what I want. Then again, I'm not a star. Maybe that's for the best really. Maybe I should just be behind the stage co-ordinating stuff instead. I think I'd be really good at that. "What? Someone wanted 25 bottles and only got 23? Moahahaha! I mean, how sad..."

"Sure beats a kick in the teeth..."

You know that annoying CEO that you just wanna kick in the balls because he's a jackass? Yea, we kicked him down today. And by "annoying CEO" I mean the endboss in the game I play and by "we" I mean the people I play with. It was amazing. Wonderful. Brilliant. And poof - gone. It's a bit of an anti-climax really. You try and you die and you try and try for months and then it finally happens. It's like New Year's Eve right after the fireworks. "So now what?" Well, now we party! Then we do it all again next week with a higher setting. That's how it works, you see. Once you aquired what you wanted you instantly go after something else. The human brain is weird like that. But you know what? I don't care. We got the Lich King down! (No, I don't really know what a "lich" is, but I think it's some form of lice - sort of sounds the same, doesn't it?)

"Me-sa so sorry!" Yea, you bloody well should be!

Why is it that when I for once have something to write the site won't work? And why is it that when it works I get a horrible cold that stops me from doing anything? I have no idea. What I do know is that I'm currently walking around inside in sweater, sweatpants, fuzzy boots and a scarf. Not to mention the cover I've got wrapped around myself and the countless cups of tea I'm drinking. Or the oranges I'm forcefeeding myself with. Did I ever tell you that I really don't like oranges? I don't. Not even a little bit. No, siree.

Hopefully all this will scare the cold away. Far away. To someone else. (Yea, I know, but I like to live in hope!) I really don't have time to be sick. But for now I'm just gonna go outside, buy a kebab and some candy and then bring it home and eat it. Mmm... food...