the world burns apart

Do you remember that cream I got yesterday? The one I have to drip in my eye? You know, sometimes it's hard to remember that I actually am 25 years old. You see, I never was any good with dripping stuff in my eyes. When I was 13 I did an allergy test at the hospital and of course, being me, I was allergic to pretty much anything. "Do you have problems with any food?" "Uhm, no". I never told them about how I can't eat too many oranges. Or how my mouth starts to itch if I have too many almonds or hazeulnuts. Anyway, they tested me by dripping 15 drops of various, hrm, I suppose substances will have to do, on one of my arms. On the other I got 17 drops. Then they punctured my skin to see if I was allergic. Wow. I was allergic. And fuck, it itched like hell. It was a bit funny because the doctor saw that I was allergic to, among a million other things, dogs and we said we had a dog at home (or something - can't remember the exact start). So then he went "well, you have to get rid of the dog". He actually said that. To a 13-year old girl and her mother. So I went "I'm not getting rid of my dog - I'd rather move out of the house then". Some people should so not work with other people. I mean, seriously! Of course, when I got home, the first thing I did was hugging my dog like crazy. (No, I never was any good at listening to people I consider idiots really.) I got off track here... Oh right - so I got three different medicines. One thing - very much like an astma-inhaler - to shove up my nose and inhale. Yes, you read correctly. Then pills and then eye-drops when I found that my eyes got itchy. Eye-drops. I don't think I ever used them, I think I just took the itching. You get used to that after a while. You see - my skin has a habit of going really dry and itch so I have tried a million different creams and shit for it. Some eye-itch I can take!

Yesterday though I had to tell myself, literally, that "you can pay your own bills, cook your own food, you have a job - now you pull yourself together and drip one drop of this cream in your eye so you can get rid of the sty, damnit". I had to say that. I didn't feel mature at that point, but I felt so proud when I'd done it. So hooray for me! I can manage to drip stuff in my eye to get rid of stuff I don't want! (Yea, sometimes I'm not sure I'm older than 13 really...)