Top Quality Grade A Awesome Sauce

I'm flying to England tomorrow. This lovely country of wrong-side-traffic, bacon-and-eggs-breakfasts and pubs on every street corner. I'm really looking forward to it. To make it even better I'm flying with British Airways which are, without doubt, the best airline company in Europe. (Trust me - I've tried quite a few.) And I'm flying from Copenhagen - I love Copenhagen Airport. It's a very big airport and have destinations all over the world. Just being there with all the other people flying somewhere is such an amazing feeling. If I could I'd live there. Of course that'd probably take the magic away... I doubt that the guy, whose life the Terminal is based upon, liked it. Doing something too much just takes the magic away. And you know - I need magic. Preferably lots of it. Different kinds. I feed of it. Well, that or small children. Ever had a big cauldron, boiled a baby in it, seasoned with some spices and ate it? It's fabutastic!

The light you did not see did not erase your memories.

I. Am. So. Bored. Reading the news over and over doesn't help, but it did make me realise that nope, I don't really care about the world now either. Feels kinda good to know, I must admit. Although it did feel a bit wierd just now when I realised that I care more about recipes for cakes and muffins and such than about the situation in wherever the hell it was. And just because of that I decided to make a save-the-children-test about where I'd've been born if I'd been born today. According to save-the-children I have a 0,08% chance to be born in Sweden... Apparently it would've been Brazil. Yea, I don't buy that. You see, the reason I'm here now is because my parents decided to have fun in 1984. Since I'm 50% my father and 50% my mother and they're both Swedish the chances don't even exist for me being born in Brazil. And if you ever claim that I use science against fate I'll kill you. In fact, just forget everything you just read.

so beautiful

Today I've signed in to msn more times than I care to admit. I've also been logged out more times than I can count. It's a bit annoying because it means that the past nine hours I've been working have been incredibly slow. On a good note though - it's just 57 more minutes to go. Hooray!

Have I told you about when my stationary computer had a nervous breakdown? No? Okay, here comes a quick recap then. I bought it in 2006 and in late 2007 it broke down so then I bought a laptop. (I know, it's just sad what people with money can do.) In 2008 it got fixed by replacing the motherboard and the ram-memory and worked like charm. Until January this year when it broke down again. It started rebooting itself and forgot settings and at the end it never came past the bios-page. After having checked the internet for solutions I decided to just leave it be until I had the time and money to make a proper effort. Time passed and when I started working again I spoke to my co-worker about it and he told me different things it could be. "Listen to beeps and see what's wrong." So this Sunday I decided to check if it was the keyboard or the mouse that fucked it up. It wasn't. Then I wondered if changing back to my old ram-memory would make a difference. So I tried changing the ram. It made a difference. It made one hell of a difference. A laptop vs. a stationary computer is like walking around with sunglasses. Sure, you can see everything properly, but once you remove them you realise how beautiful the world is without them.
Of course, fixing said computer also means I made a wishlist for when I get my salary. I feel like such a geek. It feels amazing. If I was alone here I'd flex.

I keep dancing on my own

It's hard to be at work right now. It's hard to work with someone you'd prefer not to be in the same room as. It's even harder when it used to be someone you liked to spend a lot of time with, hang out with, have fun with. Don't get me wrong, I'm not pitying myself or anything - it's just not as much fun as it used to be. At least it's money, right? That's what I keep telling myself. At least it's money. And I only have to work four days this week. Well, four evenings really, but four none the less. And on the fifth day I get to go away, fly away to another place and I can spend days doing absolutely nothing except being with the one I love. That's what keep me going now. It's what keeps me from saying "fuck it - I'm going home". Only seven hours left today. I can do that.

Logical enemy

Some days are just not the best days. Like today. My sugarpaste was too sticky to be sugarpaste and too firm to be frosting. And of course, now I realise that I probably could make something frosting-like out of it. See, what I mean? Just one of those days. At least the laundry worked out alright and the tomato pie looks good. My cake that was supposed to be really awesome is now spongecake ---> strawberries in pieces and whipped cream ---> spongecake ---> chocolate cover. I guess it's stupid of me to not be satisfied - especially since it was the first time ever I made spongecake and it turned out alright - but ah, I don't know. After having done the cake and starting on the dishes I accidentally splashed my laptop with a bit of water. And when I was about to put a screwdriver back in my toolbox I almost tripped and hurt myself. Almost. Of course, being another day I've also spent hours listening to my neighbours' music and now yells. And a squeaky toy. I hate squeaky toys. And people. And cakes.

Sometimes I wish I could just settle. Just be happy. And of course I just tripped when I went to answer my phone. And tonight I'm attending a birthday/graduation-party. I really look forward to that, but for now I'm gonna sit on my couch and not move for at least an hour. I need that.

To be continued...

Move a little bit closer. A little closer. A little closer. That's it. You know, I really like the way you read my stuff without judging. I like how you occasionally shake your head at my escapades. I smile while I write for you.
And now to something completely different. (Please remember the nice words.) I don't think my sugarpaste will be proper sugarpaste. I think it'll be more like frosting. You see, yesterday it didn't seem really elastic. And it's not supposed to be very sticky and mine kinda was - I might've had too little powdered sugar in it. Might have. That was yesterday though so it might've improved insanely until today. I made it green (of course), but well... we'll see how it turns out. If worst comes to worst I'll just make a chocolate muffin and put some "frosting" on it or something. At least it tasted really nice. And that's what counts right? The taste? (Yes, I know, a bit of me just fell to pieces by that sentence - it's not the taste that matters - it's how it looks, damnit!)

Honeylips

This weekend I'm gonna make some cake. Like cake-cake, not my normal gooey chocolate cake and I hope it'll be awesome. I have high hopes. Like really high hopes. And the research I'm currently doing... There's so much information it's like a complete overload. Of course, with my amazing brain capacity I can store it all (it's my brain, my writing and my lies). But seriously - have you ever heard of "gum tragacanth"? Me neither. Of course some more searching solved that problem - it's some form of sap from some tree in Iran and it's apparently the best one you can get. Yea, I'm not gonna use it myself, but I just wanted to add a difficult word really.
The point of all this research, which is currently eight pages long, is to be able to make something more fun than my chocolate cake. At the moment it contains how to make "fondant", "sugarpaste" and the difference between "cups", "ounces" and "decilitres" and also some Fahrenheit to Celsius-conversions. (Those Americans are weird.) Hopefully it'll be great and then I'll show you and if it'll suck we'll never speak of it again. Deal?

Oh, and don't forget to brush your teeth!

My 100th post was about prostitution. What number 200 was about I have no idea what so ever - it didn't make any sense at all - and 300 was about a horror movie. This is my 400th entry and as such I think it's time I share some knowledge I found in a magazine at work.

10 ways to live forever (almost).

1. Get angry. Men who express their anger reduce the risk of dying prematurely. Apparently this doesn't include violence - that's bad for your health - but just enough rage will be good for you in the long run, reducing the risk of getting heart attacks and strokes.
   
   
2. Spice up your life. Turmeric, one of the things in curry, is said to boost the immune system, dampen inflammations and help against gallstones. Apparently this spice helps (and this is translated from Swedish so well... you know) "to suffocate COX-2, an enzyme which causes inflammations and pain".
   
   
3. Chill. Cold and heat are often called "stress factors", but studies have shown that small amounts of these will prolong... Hrm, I have no idea if that's the correct word... make lab rats live longer. Cold can shrink tumours since it increases the activity of the white immune system cells.
   
   
4. Sing. Singing brings with it a lowering of the heart beat, lowering of the blood pressure and it lowers the levels of stress hormones in the body. Studies with a bunch of really old people who sang in a choir have shown that they visited the doctor much less frequent, had fewer depressions, used less medication and tripped more seldom than the ones who didn't sing.
   
   
5. Drink "hard water". Heart diseases are less frequent in areas with hard water and the experts think that the reason behind this is the higher amounts of Calcium and Magnesium in these waters. Calcium lowers the blood pressure and Magnesium is important for a healthy heart.
   
   
6. Express gratitude. To be a part of a religious ceremony once a week can add two or three years to your life. Apparently this study also checked other factors such as exercise and cholesterol dampening medication and it found out that people who do some religious thing once a week have a 21% bigger chance for a long life than the rest. (I can't help but wondering if this includes all religious actions...)
   
   
7. Have an orgasm. Two orgasms or more per week can increase your life with up to eight years. (Now that is pretty fucking cool. So that means I'll live to be over 200 - awesome!) This study showed that the risk of men dying prematurely was 50% lower among those who had a few orgasms. Have some fun increases the production of the immune strengthening hormone DHEA.
   
   
8. Floss. If you suffer from a gum infection the body's immune system starts working and this increases the risk for infections - one of the reasons behind heart diseases. If you floss you'll decrease this because it'll usually make you keep your teeth. (This is incredibly simplified on the base that there's an insane amount of numbers in the original text.)
   
   
9. Become a mother later. If you pop out a kid later in life chances are that you have a better economical stability and thus less stress. Chances are therefore bigger that you'll live longer and feel less stressed about growing old.
   
   
10. Don't relax too much. Too much stress is bad, but so is too little. According to a study women who stressed just the right amount had more evolved two-year olds than the ones who didn't. It's believed that the stress hormone Cortisol actually helps the body's organs to evolve while it's known that too much of it decreases growth.

Being me I will, of course, sum this up in one sentence. Get a partner, get laid here and there and everywhere and protect yourself until you reach like 40. Have fun at your 100th birthday! I know I will!

This fish tastes an awful lot like schnitzel...

When I was a kid I always used to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on TV. I have a memory of being six years old, sitting at the dinnertable at kindergarden and have a discussion about the show in English versus Swedish. Of course, being me my contribution to said discussion was "I prefer to watch it in English - I can learn to read better then. I can read the text four times before it disappears". (Yea... I was weird as a kid aswell.) I was always Donatello when we played - you know, because of the big stick and the purple mask. Was quite a big fan of purple as a child - you know, before I realised how incredibly awesome green is!
So uhm anyway... the one superpower I've always wanted to have is invisibility. It's so cool to be able to become invisible. Although I must admit I just want it to be able to sneak into the boys' lockerroom. Or well, that's the main reason anyway. The boys always used to get into our lockerroom after gymnastics in primary school and it'd be nice to get back. (Is it primary school? Ah, grade 1-3 anyway.) Now don't take this the wrong way or anything - and this is something I remember very clearly - I used to flash them. As in jump up on a bench, open my towel and flash. You know, it seems harmless when you're seven, but now it seems kinda... disturbed. Figured it'd be a cool superpower though since invisibility is already taken. the Flasher - she makes them stop. Yea, she does indeed. If nothing else she makes people stop and wonder what the hell she's doing. I'd love to have an amazing outfit consisted of stockings, corsett and some form of underwear, but it's a bit hard to flash in that. Maybe I'll just have a pyjamas like the old gold-digger with a poop-thing at the ass. It could be green. It'd be kinda cool. You know, I'll have to get back to you on this. Some research is definitely needed here.

I'm fucked up

Fear leads to anger.

Anger leads to hate.

Hate leads to suffering.

/Yoda

Yes, that's right - I'm quoting Yoda. A green puppet with a hand up its ass. You got a problem with that? You know, I'm gonna be honest with you here. I hate Yoda. Sure, he's green and tiny, but he just annoys the hell out of me. Hrm, and all of a sudden I see a big bit of myself in him. (I would love to be awesome with a lightsaber.) And his awesome skills with the force would've helped quite a bit at work this morning when we had about 4 centimetres of water all over the floor. Monday mornings are generally a bit boring, but mopping floors for two hours does make the time pass - and between you and me - it's quite a different thing from checking paint after paint after paint. There was sooo much water though and there's gonna be water for days and it just keeps pouring out from under the cabinets and stuff. Quite different I must say. Interesting though.

Machines making machines.

How perverse.

/C3PO

I'm calm

My telephones are fucked. I have no idea what's wrong with them, but for some reason I can't call people. It's a bit annoying. Especially since I want to call people. A part of me is wondering if it's an unpaid phone bill, but since my internet's working and it's all the same company and bill I kinda doubt it. Ah, this is doing my head in and all my dishes are done so I can't take my frustration out there. Fuck, this is annoying!

Open your eyes

Every now and then (mostly now) I come across silly little things I like to share. Today my co-worker is contributing with the text on his t-shirt.

What happens when you drink a number of pints:

1. No change for your English.
2. Your English goes up a level.
3. Your English goes up a level (but your grammar goes down).
4. You become very fluent, but start mixing English with your own language.
5. You discover you can sing in English and are brilliant at karaoke.
6. You suddenly know a lot of taboo words in English.
7. You can't speak English at all (and also forget your own language).
8. You start speaking American English.

This t-shirt is from London and I can't help but wonder if this contempt for the American kind of English is something that's common for the English people. Maybe they're just stuck up idiots themselves who hate all other kinds of English. I'll get back to you on this.

swooning

You know, the sucky thing with working evenings is that sometimes there's nothing to do. So to entertain myself I browse through all the stupid things - that aren't banned by this lovely company I work for - on this new thing called "the In-ter-net" . My favourite site is one that has an insane amount of silly pictures of everything you can literally imagine. Today I started checking different cakes. That makes me so inspired. Have I told you I love cakes? Ah, right - sorry, I forgot that. Anyway, there's something special about making an absolutely perfect cake from scratch. It's just... satisfying, I guess. One day I shall make the perfect cake and it shall be tasty and delicious and angels shall be singing at the sight of this amazing wonder.

Anyway, when I was done with the cakes I started browsing vintage adds and cards and found this:

Peggy is a whore indeed. Putting herself out like that. Bad Peggy.

"Of course. In love and war everything's allowed."

Today's tip from Mother Goose: If you're making pork pancake - make sure you crack the eggs first. That way you can fish out any pieces of eggshell that might join the bowl. However, if you follow the recipe and do it after you've gotten everything else in then you have a problem. Or well, not so much problem as eggshell. So now I can look forward to finding a piece of shell in my pork pancake. Oh well, at least I know it's there.

Is there anything more disgusting than taking a shower early in the morning? Hrm, as soon as I typed that I realised that yes, there is. This is making no sense at all so I'm gonna stop right here.

Feather boa

There are three things in particular that get to me lately. I don't want them to, but they do. Like the heat. The last time I was over-heated like this was in 2005 in London. Okay, that might've been a little worse because I almost fainted, but the point is there. Last Sunday (I know, English is weird - anyway, the one that just passed) I had to put a wet towel over my head because I couldn't function like a normal person. Yesterday at work I had to spend a lot of time rinsing my wrists and sitting down because movement made me over-heated. (I know, but if you rinse your wrists or ankles you cool the blood a bit and thus chill yourself - for a little while anyway.) You know, one would think that after the really bad thunderstorm yesterday night the heat would clear out a bit. Of course, being me, I didn't hear anything. I went to bed at 2:30am and it started at 3am. How sucky is that? Always the same thing - I speak to someone and they go on about how they couldn't sleep because of the thunder. "Thunder? There was no thunder." "Oh, yes there was. Could hardly speak at all - it was that loud." "You're kidding?" "Nope, kept me up all night." "Damn, I missed it again!" Always the same. I guess I should be happy that I'm not a light sleeper, but I want some thunder so I can pretend I'm all evil and stuff! Uhm... rephrasing - I'm very happy that I'm not a light sleeper so I can sleep all through the night. Yes... that'll... do...
The third thing that gets to me is that I wasn't able to watch the World Cup with my Dutch friend. I really wanted to do that, but to quote my best friend "being an adult is about saying 'no' because you can't afford it". It sucks. I don't like to be an adult any longer. I'd like to be a... Yea... No, I don't want to be a child, I don't want to be a teenager and I certainly don't want to be an middle-aged woman or an old lady. I think I'll just stay where I am and discuss the World Cup with you instead.

I really wanted Germany to win - you know, play-style-wise. Just cheering-wise I rooted for Holland, but the way they played in the final I didn't feel to bad for being split with my support. (Several summers in Spain does that to you.) I don't think that Spain was the worthy winner, but in that game they were. Of course, there's been critique against the British referee and I can understand that. He didn't give out nearly as many cards as he should've had. And he was harder on the Dutch team. Of course, kicking someone in the chest isn't very nice, now is it? Personally it wasn't the most fun game I've ever seen and I think the referee took out his eyes and placed them in the locker-room in a jar or something, because he missed a lot of shit. I think FIFA should get Pierluigi Collina back. Sure the man looks like a skeleton, but he's the best. Doubtlessly.

Angelic

Glee is such a good show. You know, I would totally join such a thing. If I could act. And sing. And dance without hurting myself. Okay, so I can dance, but I doubt that I can do it without pulling a muscle. Then again - it was a very long time since I danced properly. Way too long ago. I actually danced lambada on a stage once when I was like 9 with loads of plastic ribbons tied around my waist. Thinking back and thinking about what kind of a dance lambada is it's a bit creepy. It's like the p-word waiting to happen. Today it would've been a moral outrage. At least here, in this lovely politically correct country. Of course, being like we Swedish people are, we would try to see both sides of the story and I wouldn't be surprised if someone ended up blaming the kid for being "provocative". People would take sides. We would have a civil war. People would die. Die for their beliefs. I guess that would clean this country out a bit though. You know, I'll get back to you on this. I mean, I'll get back to you as soon as I realise what "this" is because now I don't even have a clue.

And now the song is over...

Let me give you a tip: If your VCR isn't plugged in - don't try to shove a tape into the opening. It won't work and the VCR will make a scared sound. Now, as soon as you actually plug in the VCR then it will work wonders. So what am I watching at that requires a VCR? Tiny Toon Adventures. There's just something special about insane cartoon characters running around and being silly. Yes, sometimes I do wish I was a cartoon - it'd be more accepted to be completely out of it then. Somehow public clothing changes are seen as a bad thing. Damn prude society!
You know, I'd actually forgotten how much I like these guys. There's just something special with a really good cartoon show. Hrm, I think I'll go watch some silly symphonies. If only I remembered the name of the one where there's a hurricane - that's the best one. I'll get back to you on this because it annoys the hell out of me.

spiderwebs

I hate Aristocats. Don't get me wrong, it's a great movie, but I hate it. The sad part is that I still have it and that I don't really know why I hate it. Somehow I suspect that it's the cats that do it. Those bloody cats...

You know, if I was Snowhite and I was singing and looking into a well and a guy turned up next to me and finished my song it would piss me off. This is my moment you wuss in tights!

On a completely un-related note: I have cinnamon in a tin can in my kitchen. I also have three tables, a non-working computer and loads of books, but the point here is the cinnamon in a tin can. It's a bit stupid but I've always wanted to be one of those who have the most amazing kitchen with lots of different spices and stuff and I never really got around to it. Mostly because I don't work well in a kitchen if I'm not baking. Anyway, I had a pack of cinnamon and the bag was sort of leaking a bit so I thought "why not use one of the cans here?" and I have to say that it was a good idea. In case you wonder the can is red with golden stars and a red and white checked-patterned ribbon tied around it with a bow. That's where my cinnamon lives now. I hope it's happy. I'm happy.

Foreign Devils

You know, the guy I'm head over heels for (yes, I know - but you know me, there really is no point in denying the obvious) is from England. I never really think about it since I speak English with a lot of people, but sometimes I find myself realising exactly how incredibly English he really is. Let me give you an example. Have you ever heard the word "settee"? Ah no, that's "setter" and it's a creature with a tail. Apparently a "settee" is a couch. I mean, sure I get that they want to be original, but for the love of god - adapt to the world!
I wish you could've heared the disgust in his voice when he had to explain to me that it was a "couch". It was hilarious. Although I guess I shouldn't laugh at him - I'll probably end up using it myself. I mean, it's in my vocabulary now. Oh the horror!
Of course, it always makes me a bit happy when I try to explain things and he doesn't really get it. Like when I told him what a "schäslong" [shae:sl:ong] is. "It's like a long thing you sit on and then you have support for the back where the head is? You know, sort of like a shrink-couch?" "Ah, so a settee?" "Well, yea... I suppose..."
Do you know what the worst part is? I'm gonna start talking like him. Yea, I can just feel it creeping up on me. It's like when I visited the Netherlands and had my lovely whatever-dialect, on Thursday and Friday, then slipped into some strange British version on Saturday and then had the most strange dialect I've ever had on Sunday. And I just couldn't make it stop! Mommy, I'm scared.

Days like these I wish my underwear would fit my ass better. Or that I just wore a bloody thong. (And yes, I just realised how very wrong that sentence is.)

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean that they won't come to get you!

Okay, I have a question. When was the last time you showered the biggest carpet you have? Yes, showered. You know, as in took it into the shower and poured water on it? Can't remember? Oh, alright - let me be a bit more specific.

When was the last time you showered the biggest carpet you have because you accidentally dropped a package of cocoa on it at like 5:50am in the morning?

You know, sometimes I wonder what I have against chairs. If I'd just been standing on a chair like a normal person I would've reached my cinnamon without problems and I wouldn't have to clean up cocoa and I would've been in time for work. (I was only two minutes late, but still.) Besides, I had such a good outfit on and I had to change it because, of course, I got myself covered aswell. Sometimes I'm just such an idiot.

On a good note - at least the carpet is getting properly cleaned...

heatwave

I think my laptop is sick. Lately it seems to get insanely over-heated after only a few minutes and yes, I know that the videocard isn't really what it should be, but but...
I just hope it won't become like my mobile phone - it kinda only works when I have to call people. I get text messages four hours later - if I get them at all - and people can call me when I'm holding the phone in my hand and I don't get the call. I don't know why it's doing like that, but it might have something to do with the fact that I've dropped it a few times. (A few being probably more than 30.) Electronics just don't have the durability it used to have, you know? I mean, take my Super NES. Me and my sister got it for Christmas in 1992 and besides the fact that I had to update a cord it still works. It turns 18 years old this year. My baby becomes legal! I feel so proud!

right-side-traffic

I was going through some of my old Swedish entries and found some funny stuff. As you might've noticed I'm completely insane. There really is no way to break it easy to people - it's just rather obvious as soon as I start speaking. My best friend on the other hand is a bit closet-insane. You don't realise it when you meet her, but sometimes she just says things which are so completely weird that I just stare at her in amazement. This isn't one of those, but it still sums her up pretty good.

About the Olympics in 2006: "I think everyone should get a medal - that way no one will get disappointed. But since this apparently is a competition and not kindergarden, where everyone gets an award, only three people can get a medal."

This is something I wrote in 2006 on May 8th:
"The temperature has gone up 20 degrees in a month. That's not normal. That's greenhouse effect. Greenhouse effect isn't healthy. Unhealthy contributes to death. We're all gonna die.

Todeloo."

Sometimes I really amaze myself. I mean, to really have grasped the concept of the world at the age of 22! It's wonderful!

January 2nd 2006:
"Today's conversation about the movie 28 Days Later:
Henrik: He is naked in almost the entire movie.
Me: If I should watch it when I get home instead..."

January 3rd 2006:
"We've agreed that you can't be good-looking, smart and healthy at the same time. You can be good-looking and smart, but then you're insane. As a base for this we (me) have taken some of the hottest and sexiest people in the history of the movies; the phantom in the Phantom of the Opera, Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars and Scarecrow in Batman Begins. They're all incredibly hot and very smart, but oh so insane that there's no one like them."
Same entry as a last note: "Cillian Murphy isn't naked throughout the move - only in the beginning (and then he's nude-nude) and somewhere in the middle, but that's alright aswell.

You know, it's really hot in here. Yesterday evening I lay on my couch with my balcony door wide open waving a folding fan and it was just insane. Today it's a little less hot, but wow - the air is standing still. I keep wondering if it's the heat or my head that does it. Lately I'm just everywhere all the time - it's like being high (I think - never been high). I'm so happy and you know, I'm in love. It makes it kinda hard to focus and everything is just wonderful. A part of me is afraid I'm gonna crash again and then the other part realises that I'm really in love with this guy and that it just works. We don't agree on everything, we can discuss things properly and he makes me laugh. I'm going to enjoy this and make it work. I deserve this. I really do. And yes, he's in love with me back. That's why it's so good. Did I mention that he is completely insane aswell?

to the stars

There was a time when I couldn't wait for it to be the last day of April so I could go get a swim. It was many years ago now, but it was a thing I had with my sister and some of her friends. We'd go down to the, hrm I guess "sheep meadows" will have to do since that's what they were, watch the bonfire and then go down to the sea to take a swim. You see, where I live it's tradition to light a bonfire every April 30th. It's called "Valborgsmässoafton" [va:lb:orgsmess:o:aft:on] in Swedish and "Walpurgis Night" in English. (You know, I wonder if my phonetics actually help anyone. I doubt they'd help me.) It's basically a tradition in which you light a fire to welcome spring and shoo away winter. It's one of our heathen traditions that I'm so fond of. You see, according to the Christians of the past this was the night when bonfires were lit to keep the witches from going to the Devil and have the night of their life. Fires were lit on high hills and such to stop them. (I have to admit that I didn't actually know this - thank you wikipedia - and I know everything about anything. This is my entry - get used to it.)
Here in Sweden Walpurgis Night is basically a holiday. Most people only work half day and May 1st is our labour day so there is a lot of partying going on that day.
Hrm, I do believe I lost track here... Oh yes, the swim! During later years my swims have been pushed further and further into the year. You see, I don't like to swim alone and since no one wanted to swim with me I just didn't swim until it was warm enough for others. (I know - weaklings!) I even think there's been a year when I didn't swim at all because I was just working all year. That's a bit sad considering that water and beaches and swimming is in my blood. The salty smell of the ocean, the smooth feeling of sand between your toes, a late-night swim in the sunset... It's all part of me. So... yesterday I got it. All of it. It was more than I could've hoped for - it was more a dive in - dive out than an actual swim but all of me got under water, I had the company of my best friend (even though she didn't swim), I had a lovely sunset and I had the Baltic Sea. What more can you wish for?

Wicked and Wild

There's a candle in my window. It's purple and one of those long, slim models that you have in a candlestick. (That's such a weird word - not as bad as "candle-snuffer" but still. Yes, I have to do that - it'll swim my head otherwise.) I've had that candle since I graduated from high school and it's standing in a glass vase with some stones. Here comes the funny part because since it's me, of course there's a funny part. It's bent. Yes, bent. Not broken. Bent. It follows the sun, you see. Like a flower which twists itself to get sunlight, so does my candle. I think it's a bit funny. (If you've ever wondered how a tiny green thing can break through asphalt or concrete - that's why. The tiny green thing wants the sun.)

You know, my plants look awfully sad right now. I figured it might not be enough water so I felt the earth and it's quite alright. Then I figured it was the lack of sun so I put got my blinds up, but they still look sad. So I did the only sensible thing. I googled. Between you and me, I think it's the heat that's getting to them. Of course, I'm still not completely sure about the sun-thing so at the moment my miniature palm-tree is standing in the opening to my balcony and getting tanned. You know, when I lived at home and thought about my apartment I saw a lot of wood and lots of greenery. Wooden blinds, screens, details and big green plants. It's a bit sad how far from that my apartment is. Sure, I have the wooden details in my bookshelves and my coffee table, but I have three green plants. Or well, two green and one flower. In case you're interested I think it's a peperomia, which apparently is latin and means "pepper like - it's a bunch of leaves really in a fancy pot. I like it - mainly because it's lasted since 2008 and because I got it as a moving-in-present from my best friend's mother. It means a lot to me. Then there's the palmtree. That's something I bought all for myself and I love it. Palmtrees remind me of Spain and I've always wanted one (palmtree that is - not a country). I think it's a yuccapalm or something. And then there's the flower. It's an orchid with the very easy name of "phalaenopsis". (You know, sometimes I wonder how the English-speaking world pronouce some words...) The miracle with this flower is that it's still alive and has been for quite some time now. I'm surprised. I used to kill cacti when I lived at home. (Yes, you can do that. You just give them so much water that they can't be cocky no more.) The note on how to take care of the orchid is still there and I decided to have a look at it.

"Plenty of light, no direct sunlight." Check

"Keep soil moist. May be allowed to dry out slightly." Check

"Remove surplus seepage water." Uhm...

"Add a little plant food once a month." Ehm...

"Room temperature." Well, my room is 30 degrees now so check.

"For decoration only. Do not consume." Right...

Maybe I just shouldn't be around plants. I don't remove surplus water and I don't give them food. If I can survive weeks on liquid then so can they, damnit! Uhm, by the way, do you think it's smart to have the orchid standing on the sub-woofer? There's sort of a water-mark on it now...

Hrm, I checked some care instructions (wow, English just gets weirder and weirder even though I guess that expression makes sense) and they seem strange. So I'm just gonna do what I do whenever I have a doubt about anything. I'll call my mother. When it comes to plants she's like Alice in the Carebear-wonderland. She can get anything to grow. Then again, I guess that's what happens when you have a deal with the Devil. Oh, I didn't tell you that? It's a rather long story. I'll tell you over a drink later.

the world burns apart

Do you remember that cream I got yesterday? The one I have to drip in my eye? You know, sometimes it's hard to remember that I actually am 25 years old. You see, I never was any good with dripping stuff in my eyes. When I was 13 I did an allergy test at the hospital and of course, being me, I was allergic to pretty much anything. "Do you have problems with any food?" "Uhm, no". I never told them about how I can't eat too many oranges. Or how my mouth starts to itch if I have too many almonds or hazeulnuts. Anyway, they tested me by dripping 15 drops of various, hrm, I suppose substances will have to do, on one of my arms. On the other I got 17 drops. Then they punctured my skin to see if I was allergic. Wow. I was allergic. And fuck, it itched like hell. It was a bit funny because the doctor saw that I was allergic to, among a million other things, dogs and we said we had a dog at home (or something - can't remember the exact start). So then he went "well, you have to get rid of the dog". He actually said that. To a 13-year old girl and her mother. So I went "I'm not getting rid of my dog - I'd rather move out of the house then". Some people should so not work with other people. I mean, seriously! Of course, when I got home, the first thing I did was hugging my dog like crazy. (No, I never was any good at listening to people I consider idiots really.) I got off track here... Oh right - so I got three different medicines. One thing - very much like an astma-inhaler - to shove up my nose and inhale. Yes, you read correctly. Then pills and then eye-drops when I found that my eyes got itchy. Eye-drops. I don't think I ever used them, I think I just took the itching. You get used to that after a while. You see - my skin has a habit of going really dry and itch so I have tried a million different creams and shit for it. Some eye-itch I can take!

Yesterday though I had to tell myself, literally, that "you can pay your own bills, cook your own food, you have a job - now you pull yourself together and drip one drop of this cream in your eye so you can get rid of the sty, damnit". I had to say that. I didn't feel mature at that point, but I felt so proud when I'd done it. So hooray for me! I can manage to drip stuff in my eye to get rid of stuff I don't want! (Yea, sometimes I'm not sure I'm older than 13 really...)

Anno 2006

"Why does Saigon never sleep at night?/.../Why does nothing here make sense?"
Why does your singing voice suck so much compared to everyone else's? I guess life just isn't fair, my friend.

You know, I'm gonna give you a tip. Sleeping for six hours when you got a doctor's appointment in the morning is not the brightest thing in the world. I almost had to support myself with the wall this morning because I was swaying due to being so tired. Don't get me wrong - it was still worth it, but it's just not one of the brightest things I've ever done.

So why a doctor's appointment? Well, you see it's a rather long story. At the end of February I had an eye-infection. At least that's what I think it was - my eye was red and itchy and hard to open. It went away and for some reason there was a sty left. I didn't really think much of it to be honest, I figured it'd just go away. Yea, you get the point right? It didn't. So I got a doctor's appointment to check it out and ta-da. So now I have some eye-cream-thingie and I'm supposed to drip a drop (lol that sounds funny) twice a day for seven to ten days. Side-effect can be itching. Yes, of course it can. It's hard not to itch. Good thing I'm the Queen of No-Itch. (No, not Norwich - no itch.) Anyway, hopefully it will go away and I will once again be the Snowhite of this world. "Mirror, mirror on the wall... Who's the most beautiful girl of them all?" You know, I have no idea if it goes like that - I always watched it in Swedish, but it rhymes so I guess it's alright. (Oh, and it's me by the way. Since I'm the evil Queen of No-Itch and all.)

I just realised that I got a skirt and a t-shirt on that I bought in 2006. I'm not sure if I should be happy or horrified, but I think that I'll just take the practical route and be happy that I can save money on clothes.