"What am I? Some kind of outer space potato?" "For an outer space potato you sure do look good!"

This year I've studied more, played more WoW, eaten less and been more sick than previous years.

My fortunecookie for this year said "Don't be afraid to take that big step". I never thought it would be so right and you know what? It was all worth it. Sure, taking a leave of absense from my job to start studying made me question my sanity, but it was worth it.

My apartment looks like a shithole full of clothes. In five hours it's supposed to be all clean and welcoming. I believe I can do that. At least I hope I can, haha.

I want to write more - I want this to be one of those amazing entries that I remember and look back on with a smile, but I don't have much else to say. I'll tell you this though - I feel happy. I'd forgotten how that felt. I like it!

noodles

Again with the music. You know, I love Cèline Dion and her The Heart Will Go On. It's an amazing song for a lovely movie, but I don't love it at 03:01am on a fucking Wednesday morning!

So... if my neighbour is found burned, tied to a pile - you know, the old-school witch burning-things - then I hope you'll give me an alibi. Thank you. I love you too.

lists

I have so much that I have to do and I have no idea where to start. So I'm gonna make a list and just start from the top there. I think that's a good thing to do. I think more people should do lists. It's make the world a more organised place.
Just imagine if someone's gonna invade a country.

• Get people - check
• Get cars - check
• Get clothes - check
• Get food? (Make them hunt?)
• Give classes on how to behave?
• Proper training?

You can already see that it'll be a complete success!

You smiled! I'm off the hook!

For Nathan:

Granpa Simpson:

The Swedish are coming!

The Swedish are coming!

They got lingonberries!

swamp

Andie MacDowell has brown hair. I don't think anyone would doubt that fact. Seeing her in endless commercials for hair colour - all brown, of course - is a bit annoying. Yes, we get it. It covers grey hairs. Yes, we get it - it makes your hair shiny. We get it. Seriously. But when your hair is dry and dead - chop it off for heaven's sake. It can't be fixed. CHOP IT!

I'm gonna get the visit from the small-town-band soon. I think they'll bring lots of red baloons. Why? I cry for nothing. I cried at least three times yesterday during Avatar and two times today during some tv-show. My stomach hurts every now and then (although that might be the lack of food) and I really, really hope it doesn't hit me for New Year's Eve. Although with my luck it probably will.

A dubbed version of Over the Hedge? Sure why not.

I see you...

AVATAR

...wow...

soulshine

You feel bad, let me tell you, we all get the blues

Sometimes life is a burden, weighed down in your shoes

When it's bad, worse, worst

(And when you're feeling so bad)

And you think you're cursed

(And you've got it sad)

Well, if there's one thing for the better that can turn you loose

I'm gonna see Avatar today with my sister. It'll be first movie she sees in 3D and the third one I see. Of course, it'll be the first one for me that's filmed entirely with a 3D-camera. Or something. I know it's supposed to be really different and I also know it's supposed to be an experience quite above the ordinary.
So I decided I should dress accordingly. To me at the moment - that means jeans. I haven't worn jeans in what feels like ages so I figured that a pair together with a nice red sweater and a pair of boots would make me feel on top of the day. God knows I need that right now. Sadly my jeans doesn't fit me. The jeans I bought about two months ago that were so tight they annoyed me are now loose. And of course I can't find my other jeans which I put to the side because they were too tight so now I'm wearing a skirt. Like usual. A short green one - at least I haven't worn it recently - together with purple socks my family gave me for Christmas and a beige t-shirt with frilly arms. Like usual. In fact, it's so usual that I doubt any of my friends can see a pair of knee-high socks and not think of me. Suppose this is what happens when you act like an idiot.

melting

I've always wondered how people can have eating disorders. How they can turn away from food like it's something contagious and it'll make them very very sick. Don't they understand that eating will make them feel better?

I've finally realised why they do it. I've known for years, of course, but never been able to understand it. Until now. You see, the first thing that happens to me when I don't feel well - even before I realise it myself - is that I loose my apetite. I sleep very much and I don't really get hungry. This has happened too much lately and it scares me. I don't want to be one of those people. I want to enjoy every meal like I used to. I want to be able to look forward to dinner and the smell and taste of food. But it's so hard when I can't feel the hunger, so now I'm forcing myself. You see, if I feel bad and don't eat then I'll feel bad because I don't eat so if I force myself to eat I might feel better. It's worth a try, right? I've already lost too much weight as it is, I think.

Stone cold.

It's a hard thing to say goodbye to your friends. It's hard to be away from good friends for a longer period of time. Imagine saying goodbye and knowing that it's final. The end.

That's what happened to me with H&H. It's over. They make me the bad one and that's kinda hurtful, but I suppose I can take it. If someone has to be strong enough it usually ends up being me. The really sucky thing is that we planned to see Rammstein in February next year - Rammstein was our thing. Now I'll attend that concert alone while they go together. That'll be fun.

white world

It's not snowing anymore. I suppose that four days more or less non-stop was enough. Now everyone here keep their fingers crossed and hope for the snow to stay until Christmas Eve. I doubt it will - here, we have this thing about having snow the day before and the day after Christmas Eve. For some reason it always melts away for the one day when it truly matters. Although, to be completely honest, I'm hoping aswell. I know I shouldn't - everything inside me tell me not to, but I still do.

optimism

- They've taken everything, Sir.

- Smithers, I don't believe in suicide...

but if you'd like to try it, it might cheer me up to watch.

fluffy

My world is white and cold and full of snow. I love it! Few things make me so childishly happy as the first snow. Even though I know it'll never last it still makes me happy. For a few hours the world looks different. It's really nice.

It's one week left for Christmas Eve. How did that happen?

drift away

This morning (well afternoon really) I felt the smell of hot chocolate. It was so clear I could feel the taste. I don't drink hot chocolate very often - probably not even once a year.
When I got out of the shower just now I felt the smell of pepper. Also really clearly. I don't like pepper and very rarely use it in my food so this feels a bit odd.

Why is there a cut on the left side of my stomach?

spam

My hair is getting really long again and for some reason that I'm not completely sure of I don't wanna cut it just yet. Every time I do I actually cry a bit because I can't do all those wonderful hairdos that you can with long hair. Stupid really since all I do is putting it up so it gets away from my face.

My brain keeps me awake at night. It's very annoying and once I actually fall asleep I dream, which, in my case, means I don't sleep very well at all.

I wonder if Robert Pattinson's path will ever cross mine. For him I'd make an exception to my age-rule.

Fire and Ice.

Some say the world will end in fire,

some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

to say that for destruction ice

is also great

and would suffice.

/Robert Frost

vive le vent

Wow! Five days without any form of spam what so ever. That's gotta be a record.

I've played way to much WoW lately and it's affecting my sleep. That's why I, even though I'm tired as hell, think it's a good idea to get up at 8:30am, visit my parents, do some grocery shopping and now take a shower in the dark. Yes, in the dark. Both the lights have gone out and one has some really weird kind of lightbulbs in it. No idea what the other one has because I can't unscrew it. I've never taken a shower in the dark. Who knows? It might be fun.

invisible

I think I've found that lost Christmas spirit now. I say "think" because I'm not completely sure. I look around and I see the Advent candlesticks (that sounds so wrong) in the windows and my completed Christmastree. It's very nice - the dim lights are incredibly relaxing - but my walls are bare. I suppose that one is orange does make it a little less sad, but that doesn't change the fact that they're completely naked. You know what the worst part here is? I bought some stuff to put up last year, but I still haven't gotten around to it. Jeez...

Do you remember when I told you about how amazing it is to find a book you can just disappear into? Time stops mattering and whenever you don't read, you find yourself constantly wondering when you can continue the reading? I always read something. If my friends got asked what my addiction is they would say World of Warcraft without a doubt, but they'd all be wrong. The only thing I'm truly addicted to at the moment are books. It's a 25-year old lovestory. (Fine, 21 years.) If I don't have anything at home to read - or more correctly, if I feel that I don't have anything to read I become incredibly restless. I'm sort of there now so I'm re-reading the Twilight-saga. They're not the best books I've ever read, nor are they the most well-written - I've found plenty of mistakes to get annoyed (of course - all I need is one) - but the story is so... alive. It's so captivating and it really is possible to disappear entirely into that world. Some day I hope someone will say the same about me.

Mon beau sapin, roi des fôrets...

o->-< <--- me

. <--- my life

( ) <--- nutshell

( o->-< . ) <--- me and my life in a nutshell

My lasagna doesn't really look like it's supposed to. It's quite funny actually - I take the most idiotproof dish there is - I mean, you get a box of spices and the pasta-thingies and instructions on the back. Of course... This time I took vegetarian quorn instead of meat (I know, I'm as close to a vegetarian you can come without actually being one) and maybe the sauce didn't exactly cover all the pasta-thingies and maybe the glassbowl I used was a bit small... Oh well, if it tastes good I won't complain! If it tastes good...

My Christmastree is up now and since I am the wonderful, adorable and oh-so-friendly person that I am I figured I'd invite you into my head so you can share the joy I had of getting it up.

Oh shit, I hope there are no spiders in the box. [I have a fake tree.] Is this the bottom? It's bigger than the others. How many are there? Oh, three. This has to be the bottom. What's this? Plastic? Huh? OH! The stand. Well, that makes sense. So if I just put this plasticpiece into this plasticpiece it should... yep. [I feel incredibly proud of myself for being able to locate the stand and move on to the tree.] Big part, big part... Oh there it is. And it fits. Yay! Smaller part... Is this the right one? Or is it this one? No, it has to be this one, it's much bigger. Why are there screws here? Think, Anna, think. Ah, to steady the tree in the foot. Hard little buggers to screw in. There, steady. Deep breaths and move on to the branches. Were they this tight last year aswell? Maybe if I push them apart...? Oh shit - did I break it?! Nah, it seems fine. That is one good-looking Christmastree. [I have to tell myself this even though I know it looks so fake not even a dog would want to pee on it.] What's next? Christmaslights... You enemy from Hell! Well, these seem to be in order. Hrm, how am I gonna do this? Randomly or mathematical? Remember when you've tried random? [I usually got really pissed, messed up all the lights and left them for my dad to deal with.] Ah yea... mathematical it is. Hrm, there are eight levels and 16 candles. That makes two on each level. That outta work. If this one goes here then that one goes there... Oh well, it's almost perfect anyway. Oh, and every bulb works. This just keeps on getting better and better. Now what? The glitter garland. Why did I buy three boxes of that? Haha, I really went crazy last year. If I start from the top and go around and down... Oh, I really did need three boxes. Jeez. Time for the Christmastree balls. Oh my god, how many boxes did I buy? FOUR?! Oh well, I suppose the tree is like me then - glorious and just a tad too much. If a silver one goes here, then a red one goes there...
Wow, it's done. Spire-time! [Since I can't reach the top of the tree I have to stand on my bed.] It's sitting askew. Maybe if I stretch... I really hope I don't fall over the whole damned tree now. There. Perfect!

Time to taste the lasagna. This should be fun...

Santa Claus is coming to town - Futurama version:

He knows when you are sleeping

He knows when you're on the can,

He'll hunt you down and blast your ass

From here to Pakistan

You better not breathe,

You better not move,

You're better off dead

I'm telling you dude

Santa Claus is gunning you down

goldylocks

My sleep is ruined. I used to be one of those people who go to bed and fall asleep within five minutes of doing so and just lie there like they're dead. Now I twist and turn for hours before I fall into some kind of strange dream-thing that doesn't really relax me at all. It sucks.

It's Christmas-time again. I've had my Christmas decorations down all year, but I haven't put anything up yet. I don't feel the spirit right now - of course, that might have something to do with the fact that it's grey and raining all the freaking time here.

I have three plants here. You see, at times I feel very lonely and I'd love to get a dog, but since I can't even care for myself properly I don't wanna put a dog through something I might not be able to follow through - so I got plants instead. I've had them for quite a long time now - one over a year - and they're still alive and doing well. Yes, we are all very surprised by this fact. Happy, of course, but still surprised. My trick is to have a bottle of water standing close to one of the plants. I don't water them every day but every now and then I see the bottle and remember that "oh yea, water the plants". It's working really well (obviously).

Do you ever find yourself needing a bunch of stuff but not really having the energy to actually get it? I'm sort of there now. Oh well, time to move and go buy some cream!

Secret Identity

My voice is still ruined. I can talk, but I find myself coughing a lot and going hoarse very fast so I try to stay silent. It's harder than you'd think when living alone.

I'm not a fan of spiders. They've never actually done me anything to hate or fear them, but I just don't like the look of them. It might be something with the legs, I don't really know. So to go spider-hunting at 3:30am isn't really my favourite thing to do. You see, I saw a spider sitting quietly and enjoying my ceiling. Being me I took one of my flip-flop shoes and sort of threw it up at the spider. I know, but I can't reach and I can't pull out my vacuumcleaner and suck the bastard up at this hour. I don't think the spider died though, and I'm fairly sure my shoe didn't smash it so now there's a spider on the loose. Am I afraid? Yes. Am I terrified? Maybe. Do I believe that the spider is gonna lay an egg in my ear and that I'll give birth to baby-spiders in nine months? No, I do not.

Oh, and if you ever wonder why don't sleep at this hour - now you know. I am a secret spider-hunter!