There's a program on TV here now called "Locked Up". The plot is rather simple; a bunch of teens with a history of violence gets locked up in a prison to see what it's really about. Former convicts, now honest people, serve as role-models inside the prison.
I know that this is edited for TV, but this has to be the best show I've seen in a very long time. It makes me think about how I'd react if I had a child who acted the way these teenagers act. If my son called me "bitch" or "whore" I would sit down with him and have a very long, and very nice, conversation. If my son would smoke in front of me, I would search his room to find all his cigarettes and then I would make sure he smokes them all in a very short period of time. If my son ever layed a hand on me I am fairly sure I would make him wish he hadn't.
If my son thought that "respect" is something that you earn via violence and weapons, I would show him the difference and I would make absolutely sure that he understood it.
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