Death is nothing but a new beginning.

In my hood

There's a boy

Making girls breathless

Serving tea down on 39th street

And today

Even though

It may seem hopeless

I’ll go down on my stumbling feet

And ask him out - oh yeah

And if tonight

Turns into this "perfect tonight"

Then have a little mercy on my soul

And if the moon

Just lights up his devilish smile

It's gonna take a lot of manners to stop me from this:

Steal his precious first-date kiss

I'm so ashamed

I am weak

What a big failure

Couldn't speak, couldn't feel my own tongue

I’m such a fool

What can I say?

But today - trust me!

I will do a little better this time

And ask him out again

And if tonight

Turns into this "perfect tonight"

Then have a little mercy on my soul

And if the moon

Just lights up his devilish smile

It's gonna take a lot of manners to stop me from this:

Steal his precious first can-only-give-it-to-someone-special kiss

And if tonight

Turns into this “perfect tonight”

Then have a little mercy on my soul

And if the moon

Just lights up his devilish smile

It's gonna take a lot of manners to stop me from this:

Steal his precious first-date kiss

In my hood

There's a boy

Making girls breathless

I got asked out once. It was my third year of high school and I was having lunch with my friends in the school cafeteria when one of the guys from one of the international science-classes approached and asked me out. Me, him and a bunch of other people from his class had played cards together (we did that so much back then) since we started high school, but the two of us had actually never really spoken to each.
He surprised me so much that I had to think it over. And I did. And I never got back to him. Girls are nasty when they're 18.

I don't think I've ever asked someone out - I've asked for numbers, but not an actual date. The thought of "no, but thanks for asking" scares me. I have some... problems with taking "no" for an answer and I wonder how much courage that poor boy had to summon to ask me out.

I might loose my job. I might not. I might find out today, I might not. I might move abroad if I loose it. I might not.

I don't like my job all the time. I don't like this apartment all the time. I don't like living in this country all the time. But I don't want to loose my job. I don't want to have to sell my apartment and move back to my parents. I don't want to have to take a job as a telemarketer wondering if people would like to change their telephone company and get a free phone. I don't want to take a student loan to be able to cover the loan and mortage and bills I have now.

But I will.

If I loose my job I'll apply for that loan and a 2-year program in hotel management. I have no hopes of ever finishing it, but I'd rather try that than move back home to my parents.