Insane in the mainframe.

We didn't watch Die Hard. We were supposed to, but both me and H2 arrived at H1's too late so we didn't have time before work. This meant we had to settle for another movie and I was completely devastated, because I really wanted to see Die Hard.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to choose a movie when you have a whole room to choose from? H2 wanted to see smth "easy" and I didn't feel like watching Colin Farrell in any movie and H1 had huge problems finding a movie that was shorter than two hours.
We ended up with Sunshine. "Just so you know, it's not a sunshine-story." Thank you for telling me that. "It has Cillian Murphy, I don't really care." Turns out it was a story about sun. Who would've thought?
You know, when it comes to horror-movies I actually find a movie that takes place in space creepier than one about vampires. I just can't understand why anyone would want to leave Earth voluntarily to enter places unknown. Although, maybe that's just it - unknown, adventure, a new start. So I suppose I do understand it... in a way... Then there's just the part who remembers the dream I had ten or so years ago where me and my mother spent 32 years on March and played cards the entire time. I love my mother and I love cards, but for 32 years... No, I don't think so.

Ah, the memories...

When I was a kid I wanted to be like all the "beautiful people". You know which I mean - the ones who enter a room and everyone in the room wants to talk to them, the ones who can get anyone they want, those who just brighten the world by being there. My sister belonged to those people. When we grew up everyone wanted to be with her - they all loved her.
Me... I was just the normal outcast who tried very hard not to be seen. If people didn't see me they wouldn't make fun of me and they didn't. They didn't even know who I was.
(We once went through the correct results to a mathematics test and when we got to the last question very few had answered correctly. One guy asked if anyone had actually gotten it right and our teacher said that yes, Anna got it right. He asked: "who's Anna?". We'd been in the same class for three years - talk about blending in with the wall.)
Of course, empathy problems doesn't really help the "I hate myself"-thing very much and skipping school didn't really make it much better. (Sometimes I wonder how I actually managed to pass.) To be honest I don't really remember much from the age of ten to sixteen. I recall some things and I know what others've told me, but it's just black mostly.
Things changed the year I started uhm, well I suppose "high school" will have to do. I got away from all the people I hadn't liked and got a chance to start again. No one would know who I was or what I came from and I could be exactly what I wanted. It was great. The class I ended up with was insane though and threats and yells were very common. I can't even remember how many times I left the classroom in protest against the others. After two years it became too much so I changed class. Of course there were morons there too and I stopped counting the times I told people to shut up so I could hear what the teacher said. I wasn't really liked - of course, that says more about the others than it does about me. Somehow I don't really blame these people, I met one of my best friends because of it, I am the one I am today because of it and I am where I am because of it - although the fact that they don't dare to meet my eyes when I run into them on the street does feel quite nice.
Okay, so I can't really say that I love where I am, because let's face it - I'm in a town with about 40000 people and it kinda feels like I'm stuck. I've been working in the same place on and off since 2005 and even though it's not the best place in the world, at least I'm good at my job. The thought of going there actually makes me smile in the morning.

Me: I don't wanna see Die Hard.
H1: We could watch another movie...
H2: NO! We're gonna see Die Hard!
Me: But it's so boooring...
H2: Yea, and in which context did you see it? Played WoW?
Me: No, I watched about 20 mins and then I got bored and THEN I started playing WoW.
H2: We're gonna see Die Hard. You were like this with a bunch of other stuff before too.
H1: Oh, the phone... this is my lifeline...
Me: Like what?
H2: Alien and lots of music we've played.
Me: Oh, so much other stuff...
H2: I think you love everything H1 suggests and hate everything I suggest on default. If I would come tomorrow and say that I've seen a great movie and then say the name in Swedish you'd hate it and if H1 would come the day after and love the same movie but say the English title you'd love it.
Me: Well, H1 has a taste more like mine - I mean, he has movies about talking typewriters. I see you like a person who watches actionmovies and stupid comedies.
H2: I have two shelves with movies. H1 has a whole room. Of course he has a broader taste than I have; I only buy movies I can watch again and again whereas he buys movies he can barely watch once.
Me: I still don't wanna see Die Hard.
H2: Have you seen The Green Mile? That's right up your alley; movies who bring you so deep down that you need drugs to get out of it.
Me: I happen to like Hotel Rwanda - it's a great movie.
H2: I think you have all those Disneymovies because you need to watch 20 of them when you've seen Hotel Rwanda.

My world is so full of love. Either I tell my co-workers that they're horny, shallow bastards or they tell me that no, they haven't seen Hotel Rwanda today either but would I like to see a documentary about how people slaughter baby seals?

We've got our top men on it!

You know that little voice in your head that tells you to do stupid things? That might be me. I might be that little devil on your shoulder telling you "do it, do it". It's not that I actually want people to do stupid things, I'm just interested in what it actually takes for them to do it. For me it doesn't take much - if I'm in a good mood I don't need much persuasion really. Hrm...

Harrison Ford. Harrison... Ford... Now there's a man who only gets better with age. I know that he's born in 1942, which technically makes him 42 years older than me and 6 years older than my mother, but he's hot.
Why this declaration of Harrison-Ford-love? I watched Indiana Jones: the Raiders of the Lost Ark today - first time ever. Yeah, I know - just see me as a person who's seen every animated Disney-movie on the list and Hotel Rwanda and nothing else. Harrison Ford... Gimme!

Random thoughts late at night.

I try to think that I'm quite open-minded. Yes, I'm well aware that I'm not, but I like to think I am. Of course, every now and then I have to wake up and realise that I'm a prejudice moron who gets bored rather easily.
Like for example when I tried to watch Alien vs. Predator the second time last Friday. I thought that, yeah, maybe it's alright and I'll see what it's about, but no, it was just as bad as last time. Well, this time it was actually worse. I'm not sure I've ever seen a movie that's gotten worse the second time I saw it. (Maybe The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, but that movie is so boring I don't even know what it's about.)
So why did I bring myself to give AvP a second chance if I didn't like it the first time? Last time I saw it from the middle - come to think of it, I can't remember how it ends. I really can't and I'm trying to figure it out now. Haha, what an impression that movie made.
Anyway, the main reason I tried to watch it was because we have a movie poster at work of Aliens vs. Predator Requiem where you have the predator to the left and the alien to the right. Seeing as I had (until a few hours ago) never watched any of the movies I couldn't keep them apart and kept saying that the predator was the alien. Since H&H know the difference I kept annoying them by being wrong every single time. Now we have labels under them, although I have to say that the predator does look like an alien with that breathing device thingie he has and the alien does look like a predator. If you try to tell people who love the Alien-movies this they won't believe you and having seen Alien I kinda understand them. I still think I made a valid point though.

I also catched a glimpse of Blade Runner - wow. Up yours every future movie made!

Ever thought about rape? If a boy is 18 and a girl is 14 then it's horrible. If the girl is 18 and the boy is 14 - is that as horrible?

Worst review ever.

I've been thinking. About beer actually. Apparently it's just not "beer". And every lager isn't the same. I feel that even though I see myself as completely all-knowing, there clearly are things I have no idea about. What I do know about beer is this:

• if I want a drink to last a whole meal or a whole eve - beer's the thing
• it's usually yellow, although not all the time
• it usually tastes bitter, but not always
• wheat beer is drinkable - at times

Do you know what I really find creepy about snakes? When they move. I don't really have a problem with a snake being still (well, I do, but I can force myself not to scream if I see one), but once they start to move... the slithering... it's just... creepy.
Why I agreed to see a movie called Slither really is beyond me. Of course, at the time (being yesterday afternoon) it didn't really occur to me that a movie called Slither actually would have slithering in it. I think I gave a new dimension to H&H though - with all the screaming and "oh shit, oh shit". Although I have to say that it was a very good movie. Entertaining and stupid as hell and just the sort of thing to spice up a day before work. Life is good...

So not Mediterrenean...

I'm Swedish. Sometimes I'm actually amazed over how Swedish I really am. I put up a note by the door.

It is fantastic with people who can have a lay-in in the morning and thereby have the pleasure of being able to play music at uncomfortable times.
If you have to get up and work at 6am in the morning it's not as much fun to wake up in the middle of the night (01:45am) due to loud stomping, pounding and music.
That you play VERY loudly in the afternoon I can understand, even if it is very rude - after all, you're not the only one living here - but to play loudly in the middle of the night...

HAVE YOU NO RESPECT FOR OTHER PEOPLE?!

So Swedish it almost hurts my eyes. Let's see if it works. If it doesn't I'll launch a missile. My apartment's got insurance.

Off with it!

About an hour before I was about to go to work today my mood switched. From having been "quite nice" I got into crackpotland. Serious crackpotland. That was eight hours ago and I'm still there. I feel fan-ta-stic!

You know, I can't say I hate my job. I really can't. There's always something fun going on. Like private mails between bosses being mailed out to the entire company. Or the production standing completely still due to a wax paste not being passed. Or you know, the general sillyness. Like the discussion about plastic surgeries yesterday. It went something like this:
Me: What do you think? Silicone or not?
H&H: Natural - silicones are so strange.
H2: Of course the new ones feel more natural than the old silicone ones.
Neither me nor H1 are very surprised about that comment. Then we agreed that I would probably fall over if I had silicones.
The source behind my question was an article in Vanity Fair where the journalist went undercover to plastic surgeons to see how it actually works.
When the breast-discussion cleared out H&H started discussing hair. Being me I had get into the discussion and here, the general opinion was that a) people should trim themselves b) it itches like hell when it grows out and c) no one really wants a razor close to the genitals. Apparently this seem like an opinion shared by most people. Trimmed - you should care. Even though I have to say that men seem more eager to see it completely shaved off on a woman. I don't really understand that though seeing as for me - completely hairless down there is what a baby is.

Strange combinations.

I felt great yesterday. Then I was about to go to sleep and felt like shit. Being me I went to sleep anyway and woke up with the sun shining in my face. It's hard to feel like crap when it does that - so I took a slow morning. I should do that more often. It's like luxury on a normal working day. I'm way ahead of schedule too - work starts at 2pm, which means that I leave my apartment some time between 1:45pm and 1:50pm. Depending on what time I'll enter work at 1:50 or 1:56pm.

So what is so fantastic about this day? Well, nothing really. Although we do have snow and ice and a temperature that's below 0 degrees and the sky is completely cloudfree and blue. Just that makes me happy. I woke up at 11am after having gone to bed about 2:30am. That makes me happy too. And I've had time to take a shower and given my feet massage (I do that) without having to rush it. At the moment I'm sitting on my bed with a bowl of porridge, bananas and raisins and to that a glass of orange juice. Just between you and me - bananas and rye porridge... I just can't decide whether it's good or bad. It's not a winner like carrot cake and tomato soup (yes, you read correctly - I've tried that), but it's not really as bad as those German cookies we had at work. The raisins are great though - then again, raisins can never really be wrong.

Anna's life in short:

• My new lotion/creme makes my skin itch and go red. Lovely.
• My neighbour's above haven't played loud music at night since I went there and rang the doorbell. I do suspect, however, that they walk around with their shoes and jump just out of spite.
• I'm very good at my job. I sometimes wish I wasn't.
• My catalogue for the summer courses came today. Wooo!
• I just got an invite to "Ugly, uglier, the ugliest - put on the ugliest thing you have in your closet and join my birthday celebrations on the 21st of March". I'm scared seeing as some of my clothes are... uhm... Let's just say the world should be scared aswell.

Who needs a headline anyway?

Things I like to do on a Saturday morning:

• enjoy that I don't have to get out of bed early
• enjoy that I don't have to move unless I really want to
• enjoy that I can lie on my couch and stare up in the ceiling

Things I don't like to do on a Saturday morning:

• work

You know, I don't know if it's the "fuck this" or "never again" or just something else I haven't really figured out yet, but this year really is turning out much better than the last one. It's only been about a month, but it's just... ah, I don't know. I just feel great!
(And yes, I'm very well aware of the fact that today's Sunday.)

I'm a marionette.

Legwarmers are winners. Especially if you sit in a "laboratory" (even if it's a lot more like the woodworks at school than an actual lab), with windows in the ceiling and walls that don't understand the whole concept of "insulation". Or if you put on jeans so tight that they cut of the blood circulation and finishes the ensamble with acidgreen socks that only reaches the ancle. (Yes, of course it has to be acidgreen socks.)
Rye porridge with kiwi and raisins is another winner on a "morning" (I think it was after noon), when the world is grey and you keep wondering why you're not like one of those insane people who clean their homes, do the laundry, make sure the groceryshopping gets done and have time to make a five-hour-roast before noon. But no, I'm not like them. Somehow I kinda doubt I'll ever end up there. Well maybe if someone wipe out my entire personality and replaces it with "speciality cooking part 5" and "how to make your guests happy". I probably shouldn't say this, but the main reasons I clean my apartment, at all, is because 1) I'm allergic to dust and 2) I might get company. Hrm, I think I'll change the second one to 2) if I'm pissed off. I really should get pissed off more often - I'm so much more efficient then for some reason. Then again, being happy takes so much less effort and to just lie on the couch and doing nothing is so much better than going around like a whirlwind because I'm angry.

Let me give you a tip: Don't share bits and pieces of yourself - it'll end up in such a terrible mess if you do.