Paraplegerino.

Have you ever had a cover so soft that it feels like you're wrapped in cotton wool? No? Then I really think you should try it. It's absolutely amazing. And wonderful. And soft... Oh, so soft... Mmm...

Face your fears.

There's something very special about mist. It makes me feel like I'm in a hidden world. A secret world. Although... a part of me keeps wondering if a giant is going to walk past my window and if I should close the blinds... Hrm, sometimes I wonder if my brain just plays tricks on me or if I'm truly insane. I'd better end this now before it gets ugly.

Joy to the world!

Oh ducktape, we are your loyal servants. We follow your lead. We will do as you ask.

Yes, my sink and water lock is now fixed with ducktape. Oh wonderful ducktape.

marching through the dawn

Sometimes I have really weird conversations with people. Sometimes I have really normal conversations with people and most of the times I have no idea what so ever what people are telling me because there's usually a pretty-looking butterfly that catches my attention. So where was I? Ah yes, conversations... Here are a few of the weirdest conversations I've ever had in my life. I hope you enjoy them!

"Why are we discussing this?! You can't pee in the kettle!"

"Can we have a baby? And wait 'til it like four and then give it a deadly disease? Then we'll apply to the Make A Wish-foundation and say that we want Jamie Oliver to cook us dinner and that it was our kid's wish. And then we he comes - we punch him!
So it's all this so you can punch Jamie Oliver?
Yep, pretty much - if we start now we'll be done in four years - what do you say?"

And then the classic: "Have you ever thought about eating human eggs? I mean, people eat fish eggs... what's the difference?"

Break wind

Do you remember the last time I fixed the water lock in my bathroom? And do you then remember how it didn't end well for any of us? Yea... I really shouldn't be allowed near stuff you can take apart, should I?

The problem this time is the water lock under the kitchen sink. It's the most stupid construction I've ever seen in my life and the morons who put it in placed it so that if I unscrew the part that needs to be unscrewed I just end up pushing it into the wall. I can't get it out! It's like placing a door facing a wall. Who is so bloody daft that they put a construction on like that? Oh, it's alright dear, I expect we'll be moving away soon anyway. I feel like I'm in some sort of movie where you have to go down to the stream to do your dishes. Of course, I can still use the sink... I just have to place a bucket under the now open water lock to make sure that stuff doesn't get stuck and that the water doesn't flood the kitchen.

So what have we learned today? Well, people are morons and I shouldn't be allowed near water locks. Wait, these aren't new things! You tricked me! That's it - into the kitchen with you. I said in...

If you really want to...

I have to clean the sink in the kitchen today. The water-lock in it. A part of me is thrilled because it means I'm allowed to pick stuff apart and the other part remembers what happened the last time I tried something like this with the bathroom sink. I'll get back to you on this...

Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows, only time?
And who can say if your love grows,
As your hearth chose, only time?

Porridge has to be the most underestimated food there is. I mean it looks really disgusting - mostly just a goo of some white or greyish colour and it doesn't smell like anything really. Yet... it's one of the most filling things you can eat and with the right additions (like raisins or syrup or my favourite - kiwi) it can be amazing.

Who can say why your heart sights,

As your live flies, only time?
And who can say why your heart cries
when your love lies, only time?

My eye is really swollen. The doctors say that it's an incapsuled sty and Mr. English says that it's some kind of rupture. The difference between these people is that the doctors have had some form of medical training (I hope) and Mr. Tea has had no such thing. Yet... he seems to be right more times than not, which is a bit creepy. We made a bet about it, but we didn't add anything the winner got for winning...

Who can say when the roads meet,
That love might be ,in your heart?
and who can say when the day sleeps,
and the night keeps all your heart?
Night keeps all your heart...

My sleep is fucked up. There's just something wrong about going to sleep at 4:40am and then waking upp at 1pm. I don't know about you, but for me it brings a stiffness and a headache and a general "I'm-too-slow-to-do-anything"-thing. It's really annoying.

Stardate 10001000100012

Do you know what would be awesome? If I could spray acid. I don't care if it's from my mouth, hands or ass, but I want it! Or well, I guess I care a little. It would suck horribly if my ass didn't work due to the insane amounts of acid coming out of it. And it'd be a shame if I'd never be able to talk due to the acid spit. I guess it had to be the hands then. Although... dragons breathe fire and it seems to work well for them... I shall conduct this experiment in the privacy of my chambers (also known as my closet) and then I will get back to you. Hopefully.