Burn baby, burn!

I am amazing with words. I really am. It's a gift someone in the creational process felt that I deserved. Unfortunately sometimes I tend to use the words against myself. Like when I make up excuses not to do things. I'm really good with those too. That's not a gift though, that's a curse and once you start it's very hard to stop. "I don't want to" becomes "I don't have to because I can do it this way instead" and once you start believing that you actually can, you'll have major problems going back.
I've had a motivational problem for quite some time now and I've been telling myself that I don't have to go to the lectures because I can just read the same thing out of the book. The thing here isn't that I can't do that - because I actually can - it's that I don't do it. Between you and me I actually didn't have an idea about why until just a few hours ago. Winter depression. I get that every year and it starts when it begins to get dark early. I can't believe I didn't recognise the signs - suppose it came too gradually (usually it just hits me in the face). So now that I know why I feel like shit for no reason I'm gonna treat it like I always do - trying to get as much out of the day as possible and enjoying the darkness with tea and candles and such. You see, my problem with the winter isn't that it's cold, it's that I get very tired as soon as it gets dark outside. (And yes, that was another excuse for being lazy and lacking self-discipline.) More light to the people!

/Anna: your torch in the cave

Ps: "Protective hand salve" (or however that's spelled) is "skyddande handsalva" in Swedish and "suojaava käsisalva" in Finnish. How can Finland be a part of the Northern countries? That's just really silly.

zombie

Okay, I can't do all-nighters anymore. I went to sleep at 7am and woke up 20 minutes ago. Again. Once again I've fucked up a whole day. If anyone has some self-discipline then please send it my way. I really think I could use it because apparently - I don't have any!

"Nothing more to say"

I went up at 4pm yesterday and since that sort of screwed up my normal rhytm I'm taking an "all-nighter" to get back on track. This means I'm not sleeping until tonight and it also means that I'm actually ruining my body - I can feel itself shutting down. Ah, so many memories from when I worked nightshifts. How I do not miss it.

Hrm, nothing more to write... how useless.

A tribute to the arts.

I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night

That tonight's gonna be a good night

That tonight's gonna be a good, good night

There are some things that really are better to watch on TV than in real life. Football and curling are some. I can't even count how many times I've watched curling and I don't even like it. You just get sucked in and then you can't stop watching, because somewhere deep down inside you just wished that you had something you were that good at.

Tonight's the night, let's live it up

I got my money, let's spend it up

Go out and smash it like oh my God

Jump off that sofa, let's get, get off

This weekend I watched a match of darts. You know those things you throw at a big round circle with red and white and black and numbers? We had one of those at home when I was a kid, but mostly we just threw the arrows at it, hoping to hit the middle. These days me and my best friend throw some sort of "clock" when we're out and bored. 1, 2 and then 3 and 4 and so on. The loser buys the winner a drink. It's not really complicated and late on a Friday or Saturday night one can't really expect too much, but it is a danger to anyone close to the dartsboard so we usually warn people before we start. Real darts however... that's something completely different. Not only are these guys really good (as in really, really good), but there's nothing at all involving any kind of clock and the "bullseye" won't give you the best score possible. Each team starts with 501 points and then it's about getting rid of as many points as possible as fast as possible. (Or well, at least before the other team.) There are four regular players on a team and I think each team has a back-up, but I'm not really sure. Each game consists of sets - six sets for every setup used once or twice depending on setup. The setups are 1v1, 2v2 and 4v4 and I'm not completely clear over how that worked - who does what - but at least they seemed to be and I suppose that's all that matters. It wasn't the most fun I've ever done in my life - I prefer to do things rather than to watch others do them - but it was interesting. To get a grip of something that's always just been a board with some cloth on it and arrows that are supposed to hit the middle was fun.

Fill up my cup, mozoltov

Look at her dancing, just take it off

Let's paint the town, we'll shut it down

Let's burn the roof, and then we'll do it again

When I flew down to the Netherlands I had a really pleasant flight. I arrived just in time for the boarding (so fine, I could've been there a bit earlier, but as least I made it) and the guy sitting next to me on the plane was quite nice so the start was rather pleasant. Not that it's unpleasant usually, but this time it wasn't dull.
I was hoping that my flight home would be the same. It's a shame that this world isn't built on my hopes and dreams. My plane was delayed and so was everybody else's. Apparently it gets that way if another airport in the country is closed and the traffic has to be redirected. In this case it was Rotterdam Airport and all the planes had to go to and from Schiphol (it's confirmed - none-Dutchies say [shiphol] instead of [skip'ol]) which lead to a huge delay for everyone. I flew with Norweigan Airlines and even though I know that this is hardly their fault, it's still the second time I've flewn with them and the second time I've been delayed. It was hard to find something positive there, but I managed - you see, most of the people in the Netherlands are taller than 170cm. Being 164,5cm I'm considered short and after this weekend - I understand that. Anyway, at the airport there were people from Spain and Italy and I'm taller than a lot of these people and if their planes hadn't been delayed I would just have felt like a midget in a world of giants. It still wasn't fun to have a two-hour-delay, but oh well.

I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night

That tonight's gonna be a good night

That tonight's gonna be a good, good night

"We'll always have Paris."

My sister got dumped by her boyfriend. They got together when I got together with my boyfriend and that was five years ago. I got dumped after three months (you've all heard the story), but these guys... Nothing could tear them apart. It was rather annoying actually, but my sister was happy so I tried to be happy for her. (I wasn't always, but I tried to.) A few years ago they got an apartment and moved in together. The apartment was ugly as shit and no matter how many times you call brown "coffee latte" it's still the same colour as the stuff you squeeze out at the loo. A year or so later they moved and their new apartment had all the potential in the world, but mostly just looked like a mess. When I went there I couldn't see my sister anywhere except in the overfull closet. Weird, isn't it?
Anyway, now he's dumped her and she doesn't seem too upset so I suppose it's a good thing. However... he wouldn't let her in to get her stuff. He threatened my mother when she went to get the key to the apartment and yesterday when my sister, once again, tried to get her things, she found them just inside the entrance door to the apartment complex. Are all of her things there? No. Will he let her in to get the rest? Probably not. Am I telling my family to bring a police officer? Yes.

So why am I telling you all this? Well, I have to get it out of my system. You see, there are quite a few people in this world that I'm willing to die for - if you've ever wondered why I don't have many friends this is the reason, sacrificing your life for half the population would be a bit annoying (mostly since I really like my life). When people hurt my friends I tend to get a bit angry (even if the hurting one is myself). There is, however, one person I'd do anything in the world for and that person is my sister. If I had to spend several years in jail because something happened to her ex-boyfriend then I would do it. So that's the reason I'm sharing with you - to stop myself from doing something stupid.

I'm going to the Netherlands tomorrow. At the moment I don't really look forward to it. Then again - at the moment I don't really look forward to anything. I'm sure it'll be better once I've eaten, taken a shower, done my laundry, cleaned up a bit, studied for a while and then fixed my sink. After all, I really do love airports, I'm really fond of the Netherlands and I know I'll have a great time.

"I guess size does matter after all."

I just woke up. Or well - 20 minutes ago. At 14:46pm. This isn't good, I have to stop fucking up my body like this and I really hate sleeping.

"Another year - gone!"

/Albus Dumbledore

25... I don't really feel different. I don't feel older, smarter, better-looking... I just feel like me. Maybe that's a good thing. I suppose I ought to be a bit scared if I woke up and found myself looking at a face in the mirror that I didn't know.

You know, every year I do this. A list of my failures during the year - the things I didn't accomplish this year either. I'm not gonna do that now - there's no need to depress myself. Instead I'm gonna go the other way - found out what I want to do for a living, left my job to start studies and that's about it. Wow... my life suc... is rather interesting!

How many times can one person put the word "make-up" in a sentence?

What about friendship
What about friends
You said the whole world
was against you
And it all had to end

I don't use make-up, so the strangest thing about tonight's masquerade wasn't to be someone different - it was to wear make-up. I'm not made for make-up, I look like a complete alien - but I suppose that next to a baby, an alien and a santa I didn't look too weird. Of course, I'm not really sure what I actually was, but my fake bruises did the trick (several times I found myself thinking "Oh SHIT! What'd I do there?!"). It's a shame I kinda forgot to invite one of my friends, but since I'll probably meet him tomorrow I hope he doesn't mind. I'm such a horrible friend, haha.

What about love

What about family

What about all that

You have to live for