VIDECORAD! *cool sound-effect*

Johnny Mnemonic will be shown on TV here on Friday. I saw that movie once. It was 14 years ago on a busride home from Gothenburg with my class and I have a suspicion that I found it a bit scary. (We had some lottery-thing in the class when we got home and I won the movie. I didn't want it.) Then again - at that age I found pretty much everything scary. I have to see it again - if not for anything else, then because Keanu Reeves has about as much facial expression as a dishrag.

No sugar, no more. I'm quitting. For real this time. It hurts me to go on and as a friend pointed out for me a while ago "you don't seem really happy lately so why take away the small things that make you happy". So I'm quitting. From now on it's sugar in cakes, icecream, soda, candy, cookies... the list goes on. And I've noticed an incredible improvement in my mood. Sure, my neighbour still annoys me and I wouldn't mind keelhauling him (such a good word that - taste it; "keelhaul"), but school is going quite well, I don't feel sick every time I have to start my 2-hour-travelling-time and yes, I feel that I can actually make it.

The hardest thing about studying is that you have to cut your expenses. A lot. For me that means cutting down on my very luxurious lifestyle. Oh wait - it doesn't since I don't have one! I didn't even cut down on my travelling, even though that's one expense I shouldn't have. I don't think I could live without going away every now and then and today I realised that I'll get my tax-money during this summer. That helps my plan about not taking student-loans next semester and still being able to go abroad this summer. I'm sick. I need help. Fuck it, I'm happy!

Will your system be alright?

I'm on a bus. At 6:52am on a Friday. And said bus is at the university I study. It feels soooo good not having to go off here.
So far I've been on said bus for about 53 minutes and that means that I have 4 hours and 7 minutes left. Wonderful. Like my ass didn't hurt before from all those hours on my couch playing that blasted computergame. At least I found the Internetconnection though. Completely unprotected, but still - I can entertain myself! Hooray!
So why five hours on a bus? Well, I'm going to visit a friend this weekend. Or well, not as much visit as forcing him to watch Eurovision Song Contest with me. And get an exchange of environment. My part of Sweden is flat and from above it looks like a quilt and his part of Sweden is stoney and not flat.

So far I've read the newspaper, read my labour rights-assignment once and enjoyed a lovely sunrise. Not too shabby. Did I mention that I only got like 3 hours of sleep? That's what I get for being an idiot and spending half the night speaking to people online.

Did somebody take your tongue?

My wall is full of bubbles. A bit of me is afraid they won't go away. Why it's full of bubbles? Oh, I painted it from "regiment beige" to "white" with a friend yesterday. I figured it'd be easier to sell my apartment if I make it "neutral" (god, I hate that word). The wallpaper was a lot bubblier yesterday though (can I say that?) so maybe they will away. Otherwise I'll just have to fix it, I guess.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to lift a 40"-tv up in the air if you're not two metres tall and named "Burt"? Didn't think so. It's really hard. I managed of course, since I'm just that good, but then we had the moving of the movies. I've never realised it - but I have a sick amount of movies. And I keep forgetting which ones I have - or well, I know if I'm not at home, but when I'm at home wanting to watch one I never really think of which ones I actually have. So now I found Valentine which is like the shittiest horror-movie ever made, but has some quite inventive kills. And I found out Katherine Heigl was in it so I figured it's worth a watch. Oh, did I mention that it's VHS? Back to the glory days!

Cherry Blossoms

There are days when your actions save you. Like not crossing the street for some reason and a maniac drives so fast you would've died if you actually had walked. Or when you really feel like ordering, say chicken, at a restaurant, but you change your mind at the last minute and order fish instead and then find out that everyone who ate the chicken got really really sick. None of these have actually happened to me lately, but today I decided to check my university e-mail with a risk of being too late for the bus and there was a mail saying that today's mandatory lecture was cancelled. It's a bit of an anti-climax though, because I wasn't planning on being home before 5pm and now I have all day. Yea, I know it can't really be compared to any of the above, but well, this is my writing and I write whatever I want to, damnit!

I've been feeling great for almost a week now and then I've still:

• Missed the exam I had last Monday because some egghead cut some wires on the trainstation and cancelled all trains to and from said station
• Been woken up at 3am twice this week because my neighbour is... I'm stopping here for security reasons, haha.

I don't know - I still manage to be happy and smiling and I like it! Gimme, gimme, gimme!

Most of the people in my class have anxiety over the last exams. I don't. I got 4 exams in 8 days so there's not really any time to panic. So as I say every Monday: "We don't do this because it's easy - if we wanted something easy we wouldn't be here!" (Actually I say "if we wanted something easy we'd do 'Trial of the Crusader', but I figured the other way would be better here.) I mean, now we're reading labouring rights and "Employment Protection Act" and "Union participation in decisionmaking regulated by law" ('Co-deciding-law' in Swedish - much easier). This is one of the exams a lot of people freak about. Personally I really want to have it - if there's something in writing I can use then I will find it. Especially since we're allowed to bring the laws to the exam (without writing in them of course). What I've learned so far is that I can claim whatever I want - as long as I can prove it in the law somewhere. Yesterday I claimed that it wasn't wrong to get drunk at work as long as one can still handle the job. Yes, of course I know it's not alright - but we have a very self-absorbed little girl there who always has to be right (no, not me - yes, one would think, I know) so of course I had to...

The question was: Thomas Beaver, responsible for forklift drivers, has been intoxicated by alcohol now and then and every now and then he pats and hugs female personnel. Is it alright to terminate his employment?

As I wrote earlier nothing here says that he can't do his job and there's nothing saying that he's actually a danger since he's in charge of the forklift drivers. He probably does drive a forklift himself, but the question doesn't tell us. So how about harassment of the female employees? Well, there's nothing saying that they don't enjoy it or do the same thing themselves. Yes, I could answer like this on the exam and then refer to some section in the law. I love this!

imagine

It's my mother's birthday today and I haven't gotten her a present. It's mother's day next Sunday and she won't get a present then either. It feels a bit mean, especially since I took my sister to Stockholm and I'm going away again next weekend, but it completely slipped my mind that it's her birthday. Until she told me. Two days ago. That's enough time to buy a present - and still... I haven't.

My sister took the bus here yesterday evening. At like midnight. And by then I wanted to sleep, but I said sure - come over. Now, this wouldn't have been a problem really... if she took the right bus. Which she didn't. So about two hours later she arrived here.

Today our dear mother is gonna pick us up here and drive us home to our parents and we're gonna celebrate her birthday with dinner. I think that'll be nice. At least I hope it will be.

love hurts

This weekend in Stockholm I dreamt that I had an opossum. It was a really cute opossum, but for some reason I was terrified that it was going to bite me so I didn't want to be near it. Sometimes I really don't understand my dreams.

Lately I've been thinking quite a lot about the Belgian guy and whatever it was he and I had. For some reason I find myself looking back with a kind of longing for one specific moment. It was really annoying until someone told me that memories of feelings and emotions stay much much longer than the actual feelings themselves. I don't actually miss him, I just miss that special moment, but if I could relive it today I would do it with someone else. I wouldn't want to do it with him. I still owe him a lot though - wouldn't be where I am and do what I do if it hadn't been for him. And I wouldn't know a lot of the wonderful people I do. So thank you for ruining my life - it was the best thing that happened to me.

ray of sunlight

Happiness is to wake up when your alarm rings, not being terribly tired and then finding out you don't have to get a move on until 11am... I know, it's a bit stupid of me to be happy about this - especially since my alarm went off at 7:15am, but the sun is shining outside and the weather's wonderful so I just can't be upset. Of course, I did sleep very well for eight hours and my headache's gone (for now) so I'm just enjoying myself right now.

Time for some Björk I think - it fits this mood.