Featherdusters

How can you tell if your brain is turning into mush? It is even possible to know before it's too late to stop the process? Can the brain get "dumber" over the years? Less sharp, less quick, more prone to just going "duuuh... I dunno..."? Is this the reason to the very strange behaviour we sometimes see in our parents - that their brains just aren't functioning as well as they once did? It's a bit scary to think about it, that sometime in the future my children will wonder if my brain is having trouble connecting. I will call them and ask about this new electrical device which isn't functioning the way the manual says it should. Yes, I have turned it on. What do you mean 'light'? There's no light there. I'm telling you, there's no light! Oh... it's underneath it... No, no it's not turned on. Thanks! Then I will hang up and try again. It has to work. Of course it will work. It's not working. Yes, I turned it on. What do you mean 'plugged in'? And so it will continue until the end of my days. I know, because I have these conversations with my parents on a daily basis.

Me: What's the problem with the laptop?
Dad: It's not working.
Me: Are you sure? It was working fine when I had it.
Dad: I get a welcome screen where I'm meant to put in a password, but when I type all I see are dots.
Me: Dad, it's meant to be that way - it's a safety thing if someone should look over your shoulder.
Dad: Oh, okay. Thanks!

I believe that anyone who work in customer support should be forced to work a day with their parents and teach them about computers. There is absolutely nothing more frustrating than explaining things over and over, but the joy when it works without any questions is lovely. Oh, I feel sorry for my future children... oh, so sorry...

Hidden pawprints!

There are things you can learn from going outside. Like how nice the sunlight feels after a day inside. Or how wonderful it can be when the world is all quiet around you. Not to mention how much you can learn from watching TV-shows. You'd be surprised over the amount of information hidden in those silly tv-programs. Of course, now I don't mean the really obvious stuff like watching a cooking show and finding out how to make a proper soup or how to fix a car. You see, lately I've been watching Charmed. It used to be better ten years ago, but it's entertaining enough to keep my interest. Some flashy lights here, a boom there. Not to mention all the magic and ah, how I like the magic.
Anyway, what this show has taught me is that if you work at the top of a company and wear a proper suit (or just look well dressed in general) then you're probably bad. As in devilishly bad. If you choose to wear a more bohemian style or a more miss-matched outfit, then you're probably incredibly good. One with the nature. Relaxed. That sort of thing. That does mean that you cannot wear a bra. Only bad people wear bras because only bad people care about how clothes fit.
This leads me onto another subject that I might've touched before, but it deserves to be brought to light again. Green mist. In Disneymovies (every single one I can think of and believe me - I can think of many) it's always bad. Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty appears in a puff of green smoke. The bad guys in The Black Cauldron give off a nasty, greenish glow and of course, poison has the colour of green.

So what have we learned today? If you want to be good you go commando, lay off the suit and don't aspire to anything. If you want to be bad you dress properly, make sure you can always get out a puff of green smoke for effect and you tell those dirty hippies to start wearing underwear!

eis bitte

Apparently I have "problems with grammar". Not problems meaning that I find it hard, but problems in terms of having to be absolutely perfect. Maybe it's just me, but I find that if I do write something, I want it to be as good as it can possibly be. I don't want the "meaning to come across anyway", I don't want people to "know what I mean", I want it to be clear. Yes, a lot of the things I write don't make sense, but if nothing else they're usually grammatically correct.
Okay, so maybe I have a teeny, tiny, little problem. It bugs me when people write "your" instead of "you are". It annoys me when they write "there" instead of "their" or "they're". It bugs me when people speak incorrectly and think that they are correct. It doesn't bug me when people use the wrong forms if I know that they can use the correct ones and do so.

I think I need help.

"Nazan mourns the death of Nazan."

When I was a child me and my friends used to go ice skating with down by the sea close to where I lived. I never referred to it as "sea" though, always "the lake". Don't ask me why, it was just one of those things and no, it was not a lake, it was the sea between Sweden and Denmark which, of course, is a rather small sea but a sea nonetheless. I always wore a helmet (like a good girl) and when we were tired of ice skating we used to take a break and drink hot chocolate while sitting on some padded thing to keep the cold off. I have no idea what this padded thing is in English, but in Swedish it's "sittunderlag" which I guess can be translated into "sitting underlay". Basically, put it on the ground and plant your ass on it. Then stay. Stay...
When I think back on it I realise that nature really is taking a toll for the worse. I remember one winter when the ice was a decimeter thick. That's quite a lot for being so far south (up north they drive cars across the lakes, I know, it's craziness). I don't think it's ever been that thick again, but I haven't really dared to try it either. There's something weird about growing up and realising again and again that "maybe it's not safe" and thus not wanting to do it. It's like buying your first insurance and going over different options. A part of you just dies of shame there and then. "What happened to you? You used to be cool." I guess that's why adults who do really weird things to feel alive again are just looked at as escaped mental patients by their children. It's not the same, you know. No matter if the children do the exact same thing or not, it's just not the same if their parents do it.
A part of me wants to be "the cool and hip mom". Another part wants to be the mother who always has a fresh batch of cookies from the oven or can whip up muffins in a heartbeat because the kids would love some zucchini/apple/banana/chocolatechip-stuff. A third part is looking at the workaholic and thinks "hrm, that might be me". One thing I know for sure though and that is that no matter what I'll do I will end up being embarassing. No matter how much I try not to, I will make my children wish I never had done that thing, whatever it is. That's why I've decided to be a really embarassing mother. Hug them extra long in front of their friends. Ask them if they want some cookies and soda when they bring their friends over. You know, all those things that are just... oh, my god, so embarassing! 'Cause you know what, if nothing else - at least I want to get some fun out of it!