same old story

Have you ever cheated on someone? Looked the person into the eyes and said "I was with someone else"? Seen the pain when the thought goes through the mind? Realised the suffering of the thoughts that come every time you're not with your partner? What's happening? Is it me? What am I doing wrong?

Have you ever been the person someone is cheating on their partner with? Have you ever judged those people? Wondered how they can have affairs with someone who's taken? Wondered how they can believe that the person they sleep with will leave their partner for them?

What if it's just not sex? What if it's something mental? Something deep. Is that better or worse? It's not kissing - it's sharing of ideas, thoughts and dreams. It's not touching, but it's mental painting of images and wishes. Which is worse?

He painted wonderful images for me. About our future together and our house and children. And I believed them. Because I really wanted to. I've always wanted a messy Sunday-morning breakfast with jam everywhere and screams and spoons and stuff. When it ended I didn't dream. At all. I didn't dare to. I didn't want to risk it being taken away from me. Because I believed in it. I believed that he would leave her for me and create the life we always talked about. It was just that of course - talk. It was "never supposed to get this far".

I will never judge the mistress again. Ever.