lingo

Swedish is a crappy language. I mean, it works great here, but it's not really understandable once you leave Sweden. (Unless you go to Norway or Denmark, but those countries don't count here.)
At the moment I'm cursing my Swedish heritage because it makes me unable to understand the Dutch in all the job-adds I'm checking. Knowing English doesn't help me either and I haven't spoken proper French in 5 years so I'm not really sure I can count on that either. I know that I'd be a winner as soon as the employer meet me (after all, I have skills even if I don't have a paper that shows it), but searching for a job in a country where you don't speak the language seems rather stupid in my opinion. Of course, I could always take a course, but I doubt that'd really help me. I think that I need to move there and actually speak to people. I think that's the best way. It's a shame I won't be able to pay for my living just by moving... then I'd have it all sorted out.

flubber

If a person commits a crime then that person should recieve a suitable punishment. The act of stealing give one type of punishment, rape another and murder a third. Everyone know this and everyone understand it. You commit a crime - you will be punished for it.

But what if you pass away before you are punished? What if you commit suicide before they get you? Then you won't get punished for your actions.

At least that's what the atheists believe. Since there is no heaven and no hell, but only death and nothing else you won't be punished. You won't stand before God at Judgementday and you won't end up in hell. All of this is perfectly alright, of course. Everyone are entitled to think and believe what they want. Of course... in an atheist-world this means that Hitler will never be punished for his actions. Unless of course one thinks that seeing his dream of the "third reich" going up in smoke is enough punishment. I don't really think that's enough, but then again - I'm not a true atheist either.

out from under

There are only two types of people in the world

The ones that entertain

And the ones that observe

Well, baby, I’m a put-on-a-show kinda girl

Don't like the back seat

Gotta be first

I'm like the ringleader

I call the shots

I'm like a fire cracker

I make it hot, when I put on a show...

I feel the adrenaline movin' through my veins

Spotlight on me and I’m ready to break

I'm like a performer the dancefloor is my stage

Better be ready hope that you feel the same

All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus

When I crack that whip everybody gonna trip just like a circus

Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do

Everybody let go we can make a dance floor just like a circus

There's only two types of guys out there

Ones that can hang with me

And ones that are scared

So baby I hope that you came prepared

I run a tight ship so beware

I'm like a ringleader

I call the shots

I'm like a fire cracker

I make it hot, when I put on a show...

I feel the adrenaline movin' through my veins

Spotlight on me and I’m ready to break

I'm like a performer the dance floor is my stage

Better be ready hope that you feel the same

Let's go. Let me see what you can do.

I'm running this. Yeah. Like a what?

mist

Bolt is an interesting movie. It has all the elements of moral lectures and it still manages to be funny and actually worth watching. (I haven't cried that much since I saw the Lion King at the cinema - I blame the hormones and not the fact that our old doggie used to have a toy-carrot just like the one Bolt has.)

Commando however... Anno 1985 and Arnold Schwarzenegger. You do the math. The number of faults in it still surprise me - it's a movie I have to get.

I feel brain-damaged. Must be the fog.

Boom!

According to an article in one of the newspapers here 876,4 million vaccins against the Swine Flu will be manufactured and 18 million of those will go to Sweden. The world has more than 6 billion people. Makes you think...

In the time before Mr. le Jesùs in Greece and Roman Empire, women got fully dressed and still appeared semi-naked. Then, somewhere along the line, nakedness became a sin. How did that happen?

You know, I still claim that the Swine Flu is nothing but an ordinary flu. Maybe I shouldn't - it's a bit rude towards everyone who's gotten sick and died and their relatives and friends. It's just that people die all the time. From flus, hunger, war, old age and so on. Why is this different? Because it affects people across the globe? Since I believe in fate I'll probably end up with it and then I'll probably change my mind. Until then I remain on the other side.

drift away

Yesterday I watched Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince at the cinema. It was amazing. Like having a 2½ hour long mental orgasm. Our critics weren't too fond of it, but I doubt that any of them have read the books.

I haven't always been a fan of Harry Potter. Before I saw the first movie I had no real idea what the concept was about and I would never have seen it if a friend of mine hadn't dragged me to the movies. My Harry Potter-ignorance disappeared January 2nd 2002. It was wonderful!

arena

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

/Philip Larkin

gladiator

Some of my friends are at the Canary Islands now and will be for the rest of this month. I am so incredibly jealous. Just laying in the sun by the pool with a drink in a silly colour with a tiny umbrella. I want that. I also want the heat in a country that can handle it and the knowledge that for the next week I don't have to do anything.
Of course I suppose I could fix that for myself. We have the heat here and I have a miniature palmtree in my apartment. A silly drink shouldn't be so hard to make... If I open all my windows and squint with my eyes I should be able to pretend that I'm somewhere south.

I don't like my job anymore. I get up in the morning, I go to work, I get to hang out with people I really like, but I'm not fond of being here anymore. I suppose this is the first step towards change. I suppose this is a good thing.

insanity within

I went up 5:30 this morning and took a shower. Then I washed my sheet. None of it was very pleasant.

Interestingly uninteresting.

Apparently tall people make more money than short people. At least if you believe some survey that someone did - tall people are suppose to be better leaders and more ready to take initiatives than short people. Uh huh. That means that a) I make less money because I'm short and b) I don't take initiatives and suck as a leader.
Fine, so that's true at some point, but then again - that happens to everyone once in a while.
According to another survery by someone else, people who curse have an easier time to endure pain. Interesting. I'm gonna curse more from now on.

You know, I think people get too much money for these kinds of things. They should fix stuff for people who need it instead of making these stupid surveys. "People will make more if they wear one black sock and one red every other week on Thursdays." Seriously, do something useful!

lifeless

Eyes. Dead eyes. In a whole down where the wall meets the floor. That's what I dreamt of. I remember going into the toilet and seeing a bunch of small green bugs on the walls. Since I'm not a fan of bugs I took a piece of toiletpaper and started wiping the bugs off. When I took the third I also got a tiny part of the wall with me. Of course that was perfectly alright (since dreams are a bit odd and flying tigers covered in apples would be normal but a book in a bookshelf would scare the hell out of you), but then I saw a ball in the whole that was left. I looked closer and saw that there was a hole in the back of the ball. That's a bit odd. After looking some more I realised that it was a dead eye. I then saw another dead eye on a shelf in the bathroom. That's when I decided to listen to my body and wake up for real.

According to dream lexicons (which are usually a bunch of crap anyway) eyes symbolises people and their inner dreams and desires. They also represent feelings and we all know that eyes are the mirror to the soul. In my case the eye was dead. Would that mean that I am dead? Because I'm fairly sure that I'm not. (A quick check for pulse made sure that I am very much alive.) Have a part of me died? (Another quickie of waving limbs got rid of that assumption.) No, I think it might have something to do with my university-application-result. I got placed on the reserve list for my first choice. It should hurt, but it really doesn't - this doesn't change anything in my plans - and I did get accepted to two other choices I had so that's always something. I don't know... Maybe these dead eyes represent a choice I had to make and that path is now dead to me.

Time to visit Copenhagen again tonight - Britney Spears is entering the Park. It's quite funny actually - one of my friends sent me a hardrock-cover of one of her songs and I asked her why she'd send that to me. She told me that it was good and I answered that I was a Britneyfan so it didn't really suit me. My friend apologised because I am so normal usually that she forgets things like this. I found it hilarious. Another friend at work said the same thing yesterday. Well, actually she said "but you're so normal and then you say something like this!" - haha, poor people. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to this. It'll be a blast!

Doughnuts? What are doughnuts?

"It's raining again."
/Marge Simpson

Sunshine, moonshine, a blue sky and white fluffy clouds. I'm quite fond of all of those and quite un-fond of rain and grey skies, but now I feel that silly happiness inside anyway. The rain is pouring down on the windows in our roof and you see those big drops on the glass. I like it!

I thought I was a humble person. I really did. Then I had a conversation with a friend and I kinda realised that I'm not humble. Either I know how to do things and then I'm the best, or I don't know and then I don't care. At least that's what I think - sometimes I wonder if I have the world's biggest ego.

The information on admission came today. Interesting. This changes things.

bandaid

There are headlines which are so tragic that all you can do is laugh. It feels horrible, but you just can't deal with it so you joke it away. Then there are headlines which are so incredibly funny that you laugh because you want to - you don't joke about those in the same way though. Then you have the ones which are a mix. Those really are the best in my opinion.
Like the one about the 22-year old guy who drowned in chocolate. I know I shouldn't laugh, but I just can't help it. Poor man - suffocating must be a terrible way to pass over - but I suppose it could be worse. It could've been pigcrap. (I know - I'm just horrible.)

Or the one about the 19-year old who got raped in a park. Not funny really, is it? What if I told you that it was a boy? Or that a man came up to him, waved a knife in front of his face and told him to lay down in the bench and pull his pants down. It's a little bit funny, isn't it? The police took him to the hospital - to a special unit of nurses educated to deal with male rape victims. That's where I cracked up - I found it hilarious. The fact that men get special care and women get an examination was just too much for me.

I'm gonna go hide in shame now. Hide and laugh. Death by chocolate... hahahaha!

In my next life I'm gonna be a theory. One of those annoying ones that no one can solve. I think that'd fit me.

Apparently I played "rounders" yesterday. I've never heard that word, but it's probably correct. If I'm gonna translate the Swedish name it'd be "burned ball", which I have to admit does sound better than "rounders".

After two rounds with people I didn't know and wasn't too fond of I came up to the following conclusion:

1. It is fun to be outside and to engage in any form of baseball-like sport.
2. It's even more fun if the rules are clear from the start and everyone knows them.
3. And of course it'll be tremendous fun if you haven't been up since 5:40am, is dead tired and wish you were there with other people.
4. I am in horrible condition. God, I hate running.

I survived though and it was worth it. The real pain came on my way home when I tripped on a zebracrossing in a roundabout. My left hand and shoulder got scratched, started to bleed and hurt a bit at the moment. I was rollerskating to the park where we played our baseball-copy and of course I rollerskated home. You know, I can't remember the last time I fell. I really can't. Or the last time I actually hurt myself by falling. Maybe my memory's getting bad though and I fell last week, what do I know?

acidgreen

Remember those walls you built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn’t even put up a fight
They didn’t even make a sound

What does it take for someone to insult another person? What does it take to hit another person? What does it take to torture another person? What will it take you to take the life of another person?
I used to say that I will never, ever hurt another living creature, but I'm not so sure anymore. If something poses a big enough threat then I might commit one of those crimes and actions that I despise so much. After all - it is a threat to me. Right...?

You found a way to let me in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of my halo
You got your angel now

WOO!

"Become a machoman and live longer."

Yes, let's all be machomen, live longer and then celebrate by jumping off cliffs "Macho-style YEAH"!

boiling water

Everyone is either fat, pregnant or wearing leggings. How did this happen? Well I know how the pregnant-thing happens but seriously? About 50% of the people I saw yesterday (yes, I saw more than two) were pregnant. I suppose people had real fun in November last year.

Oliver Platt is a really good actor.

I should make a chococake and I blame the heat for this horrible entry.

the Fisherman

Pouring water over oneself while working might seem like a bad idea. It's not. It was the best idea I've had all day - no only did it refreshen me, but it restarted my brain aswell. (Not that there's all that much to restart, but you get the point here.)

I was in Copenhagen yesterday. Me and about 60000 other Depeche Mode-fans.I love Copenhagen - it feels so "homey". The heat is the same, the traffic is the same and the language is practically the same. Of course, that might have something to do with all the Swedish people everywhere. I bet there were more Swedish people in Copenhagen yesterday than in all of Sweden!
The whole day was wonderful though - took the day off from work to spend it with my friends and dinner together with people you like to spend time with can never be wrong, and to end it all with a concert is just... amazing. Not as great as Robbie Williams in 2006 or Muse in 2007, but still really good.

You know, it's funny how you seem to remember all the good things and forget all the bad ones. Like how much trouble you'll have to get out of the arena. Or how much time you'll spend trying to find your way. Or how crowded it will be on the train. It was so crowded that people accidentally pulled the emergency brakes. Twice. The trainride home that was suppose to take about 25 minutes took over an hour. And of course our bus didn't go at that time and I hadn't counted on all the other Depeche-fans who wanted to take a taxi. Thank god for friends!

But besides all this I had a lovely day and it was worth taking a day off for.