Blue bloods. Kings and Queens. Leaders. The concept of royalty is a bit strange. I mean, it's a replica from a time when people who got bored with the King served him poisoned soup and then gathered a bunch of friends and stormed the castle. It would never happen today. Or rather, we just don't care enough. Maybe it has something to do with decreasing the influence the royalties have on our everyday life or maybe it's because they're just not that special anymore. Somehow they've been dragged off their pedestals and thrown inte the real world. A world of starvation, telephone bills and newspapers which write about the latest celebrity dog. We know that the royalties go to the toilet, cook noodles late at night when they're hungry and too lazy to call the kitchen, pick up the poo after their dogs every once in a while. It's nice to have it that way. To not feel that they're "above us" and that their word is law. Of course, they have immunity for their crimes and I think that one guy who threw a cake in the Swedish King's face got arrested, but at least he wouldn't have to be scared of a death penalty.
As a complete sidenote I have to bring up the spin articles can take once they're in print. The Swedish media said that the cake was no big deal and quoted the King with "well, it comes with the job". BBC said that it was treason and that the Queen helped the SÄPO (säkerhetspolisen = secret police) take the guy down and of course CNN also jumped on the treason-wagon. Maybe it's a Swedish thing, you know. This whole "not being that bothered".
Someone trying to be insulting: "Your sister is a whore!"
Swedish person: "Oh, I can see you've met her. Did you get along well?"
Anyway, back to the royalties. The Swedish Crown Princess had her first baby a few days ago. She and her man-from-the-commons-prince-dude got it on quickly and do you know what my first thought was? "Oh good, now the royal line is secured for a few more years." Seriously, that thought went through my head.
It's a bit silly, isn't it? In a world so very "equal" like ours - well depending on where you are of course - we still wait for them to get it on and produce offspring. All the other things they do don't really matter all that much in the long run if they run dry down there. It makes me feel sorry for Kate Middleton who married Prince William of England. Not only does she have Prince Charles for a father-in-law, she also knows that if she produces a child and it's a boy it'll be prone to baldness before the age of 30, big ears, reddish complexion and an uncle who thinks that going to a masquerade party with the theme "command and conquer" in a nazi-outfit is a good idea. You gotta hand it to the girl - that takes stomach. So what if she can't squeeze out a tiny one? Well, she'll be frowned upon of course. People will say that they "knew it all along" and that "she just didn't have it in her - you could see it". They of course she'll be shunned. Said to be the one who brought the house down. The throne? It will pass to Prince Harry and who knows? Maybe England will become a massive empire once again - if nothing else, Harry knows how it's done.
Wednesday, 29 February 2012
Wednesday, 15 February 2012
dry your eyes
There's a new meaning with my life. It was like God talking directly to me and telling me what I need to do before I die. I need to captain a spaceship. A big spaceship. Preferably a wooden ship with sails made to fly in space with a dome over to maintain breathable air. I could steal the pirate look with a big shirt with frilly arms, a black pair of pants and a fancy pair of boots. Oh, and of course, the hat. With the massive feather. Hrm, do pirates have feathers or is that just musketeers? Oh well, it's my ship so I can dress how I want. Feathers all around! Green of course.
The main reason I need a ship is because I would love to say that "this is my vessel". Just taste the word. "Vessel". I mean, how often do we use it in our daily speech? "Excuse me, good sir, but I have to withdraw to my vessel now - I am late for tea with the Queen, see." Ah, Brits, what would the world ever do without you?
It's a shame that I have my fear of space. That does complicate things a bit. Not a lot, but a little bit. I mean, I could fly my vessel (well not me, obviously, someone who's a lower rank) and stay just beneath the atmosphere, but I think that would make it more of an "airship" and less of a "spaceship". Not that an "airship" is a bad thing, but it just doesn't have the same power as "spaceship". It sort of sounds like "hot air baloon" which isn't at all what I'm going for. Hrm, this seems to get more and more complicated. I'll get back to you with new information as soon as I've acquired some.
The main reason I need a ship is because I would love to say that "this is my vessel". Just taste the word. "Vessel". I mean, how often do we use it in our daily speech? "Excuse me, good sir, but I have to withdraw to my vessel now - I am late for tea with the Queen, see." Ah, Brits, what would the world ever do without you?
It's a shame that I have my fear of space. That does complicate things a bit. Not a lot, but a little bit. I mean, I could fly my vessel (well not me, obviously, someone who's a lower rank) and stay just beneath the atmosphere, but I think that would make it more of an "airship" and less of a "spaceship". Not that an "airship" is a bad thing, but it just doesn't have the same power as "spaceship". It sort of sounds like "hot air baloon" which isn't at all what I'm going for. Hrm, this seems to get more and more complicated. I'll get back to you with new information as soon as I've acquired some.
Tuesday, 14 February 2012
apart
Sometimes when I'm really bored I amuse myself with thinking "what if". It usually starts with "what if I was insanely rich" and "what if I was flying away", but every now and then it moves onto "what if a male dog is feeling bad the day after because he humped a female the day before". "Oh, no, why did I do that? Now she has to think that I'm some sort of pervert. Ah, why didn't I just smell her bum?"
Yesterday me and Mr. English discussed the pros of working with plants instead of people.
"There's no aftermath if a plant should die. I can just chuck it in the bin and I don't have to face an inquiry from the plant's relatives wondering why I did what I did. It's like being a doctor but without all the ethics. I mean, if I graft a branch of an appletree onto something and check the result, no one will be angry. Should I do that with a human being though... Also, plants don't talk back, they don't tell you what they think is wrong with them because they read it online and it has to be that incredibly rare disease which has been extinct for 500 years."
It's a bit strange when you think about it really and apply human thoughts to something that is considered "less human", but it sure doesn't take the fun away. At least not in my opinion and isn't that what counts really?
Yesterday me and Mr. English discussed the pros of working with plants instead of people.
"There's no aftermath if a plant should die. I can just chuck it in the bin and I don't have to face an inquiry from the plant's relatives wondering why I did what I did. It's like being a doctor but without all the ethics. I mean, if I graft a branch of an appletree onto something and check the result, no one will be angry. Should I do that with a human being though... Also, plants don't talk back, they don't tell you what they think is wrong with them because they read it online and it has to be that incredibly rare disease which has been extinct for 500 years."
It's a bit strange when you think about it really and apply human thoughts to something that is considered "less human", but it sure doesn't take the fun away. At least not in my opinion and isn't that what counts really?
Monday, 6 February 2012
firework
Sometimes I think about having children. Someone who's a mini version of me (may it be boy or girl) and who can spread my wisdom across the world. Then sometimes I realise that maybe I wouldn't be the best mother in the world. I mean, a child can have a few drops of alcohol before boarding a plane right? To make it fall asleep?
I'm supposed to have been a horrible child. After what I've heard I poked my sister in the eyes until they started bleeding. Another story talks about how I used to walk after her and sit on her back when I was three and she was one. It's a wonder that my parents didn't beat the living crap out of me. It's a miracle that my sister speaks to me.
Maybe I'll just carry the kids for nine months and then pop them out and let Mr. English deal with them while I work. Or we could just hire a babysitter. Ah, decisions, decisions... It's probably a good thing that I'm not having kids right now. Those poor children...
I'm supposed to have been a horrible child. After what I've heard I poked my sister in the eyes until they started bleeding. Another story talks about how I used to walk after her and sit on her back when I was three and she was one. It's a wonder that my parents didn't beat the living crap out of me. It's a miracle that my sister speaks to me.
Maybe I'll just carry the kids for nine months and then pop them out and let Mr. English deal with them while I work. Or we could just hire a babysitter. Ah, decisions, decisions... It's probably a good thing that I'm not having kids right now. Those poor children...
Thursday, 2 February 2012
"'Do you know what's awfully funny? A man dressed as a woman.' ' Rather.'"
Okay, let's get one thing straight here. Some country in the world, let's call it "X", wants a law within the country that stops illegal downloading and file sharing. So far so good. Now, what's also a part of this law is the right to stop this downloading even if it takes part in country "Y". This is something that I don't really understand. X and Y aren't the best of friends so I can't really see why Y should be okay with X just walking all over it's new fancy garden and taking a crap among the plants. I sure as hell wouldn't be okay with that. Would you? No, of course you wouldn't. You'd take out the big hose and water the plants!
It's a bit silly really. I mean, yes, the big companies do lose money when people prefer to download an album instead of paying copious amounts of money for a plastic cover with a paper cutout. The artist however, does not. Not marginally anyway. The marketing recieved via file sharing widely goes above any profits for record sales. Let me give you an example.
A struggling artist (struggling as in working really hard to move from the couch to the garage where the recording equipment is) need something really special to be signed by a record company. Whether it's looks, voice, sound or something else. If the music is special enough but the artist isn't that can always be fixed. Make-overs. Do-overs. Miracles. The record company owns the songs and the artist brand. The artist owns... his brain?
Now, let's talk file sharing.
Our hard working artist decided to just skip the whole record company deal. He likes to keep the way he looks and he's pretty fond of his, at least in his own opinion, special sound. Instead he decides to put his song up on his tiny profile on myspace and goes to make some food. When he's finished dinner he returns to the tiny profile and noticed that ten people from various parts of the world really enjoyed the strings/synths/wail/composion/lyrics. The artist humbly thanks them and goes to bed. Tomorrow he will have 30 new posts admiring his music. In two weeks 400 people have listened to the songs. One of these people is dating a guy whose cousin's best friend works in marketing. Our artist recieves a mail with a request for a meeting to discuss possible business deals for a tv-show. The tv-show gets massive ratings and the music is even more widely spread. Companies want the face of the artist for this or that product and soon it's time for the first live performance. It becomes sold out and is a huge success and the artist, who doesn't have to share his profit or time with a record company, makes a lot of money. Oh, the albums? They're all released for free online.
To stop file sharing is to stop the basics of the Internet and the World Wide Web. It's created to share information between people.
It's a bit silly really. I mean, yes, the big companies do lose money when people prefer to download an album instead of paying copious amounts of money for a plastic cover with a paper cutout. The artist however, does not. Not marginally anyway. The marketing recieved via file sharing widely goes above any profits for record sales. Let me give you an example.
A struggling artist (struggling as in working really hard to move from the couch to the garage where the recording equipment is) need something really special to be signed by a record company. Whether it's looks, voice, sound or something else. If the music is special enough but the artist isn't that can always be fixed. Make-overs. Do-overs. Miracles. The record company owns the songs and the artist brand. The artist owns... his brain?
Now, let's talk file sharing.
Our hard working artist decided to just skip the whole record company deal. He likes to keep the way he looks and he's pretty fond of his, at least in his own opinion, special sound. Instead he decides to put his song up on his tiny profile on myspace and goes to make some food. When he's finished dinner he returns to the tiny profile and noticed that ten people from various parts of the world really enjoyed the strings/synths/wail/composion/lyrics. The artist humbly thanks them and goes to bed. Tomorrow he will have 30 new posts admiring his music. In two weeks 400 people have listened to the songs. One of these people is dating a guy whose cousin's best friend works in marketing. Our artist recieves a mail with a request for a meeting to discuss possible business deals for a tv-show. The tv-show gets massive ratings and the music is even more widely spread. Companies want the face of the artist for this or that product and soon it's time for the first live performance. It becomes sold out and is a huge success and the artist, who doesn't have to share his profit or time with a record company, makes a lot of money. Oh, the albums? They're all released for free online.
To stop file sharing is to stop the basics of the Internet and the World Wide Web. It's created to share information between people.
"A network of such [computers], connected to one another by wide-band communication lines [which provided] the functions of present-day libraries together with anticipated advances in information storage and retrieval and [other] symbiotic functions."
—J.C.R. Licklider
The quote is from a man who had a vision and he mentions how the connected computers work as libraries - allowing you to search information. Imagine of that was taken away from you. Imagine turning on your computer without it connecting to anything but you. Imagine going into a library without books.
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